Joined: 22 July 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 532 Gender: Female
Posted: 15 October 2008 at 4:03pm | IP Logged
hi everyone. sorry but im feeling a bit down today. my mum suggested i take emily to the docs today as she seems to drink alot and is quite small for her age. she was 1 on sunday can you believe. so i went and they said she seems ok they dont think she has diabetes but they are very concerned about her wait. she weighs 8.4kg which i think is about 17lb 10. in 23weeks she has put on 1lb 4oz. she does not look ill or anything but i was sent straight to my health visitor to discuss diet strategies i was told i must never give her a jat of food again but she has very few anyway. i must cut down her drink in take and give her a cup not bottle, but she cant seem to get on with a cup!!! i have to feed her pretty much all day so she gains weight and they said this is probably why she does not sleep through the night. i feel awful now emily is my 4th and i have done nothing different for her than any of the others and they were not couse for concern. i feel so down about the things they said . i know they trying to help but i feel sad. they expect me to give her breakfast which is already 2 weetabix but then they want me to add toast as well. then mid morning snack then dinner and mid afternoon snack and then tea and supper. does anyone else have a little lo or am i really that bad that i have starved my child. sorry to go on
Joined: 05 July 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 2412 Gender: Female
Posted: 15 October 2008 at 4:30pm | IP Logged
Hi Annemarie.
I have 4 children too, and we had all this with my youngest daughter a couple of years ago. She is very tiny for her age, even now, she's 7 and still wears aged 4 to 5 clothes (3-4 in some shops) lol We worked with the health visitor for a few weeks, going through what she ate and when, and it turned out she was eating plenty and was perfectly well in herself, but was just a small child when compared to the national average!! Ask your health visitor to do a routine check on her every couple of weeks to see if all her measurements are in proportion.. ie head circumference, height and weight should all be near enough on the same centile on her chart.
I know you must be feeling pretty rotten about it, but as you say.. if nothing is any different to your other kids, then you cant have done anything wrong yourself.
I'm sure your gp and hv only have your lo's best interest at heart, and making sure there are no underlying problems with her health can only be a good thing for the future.
I hope that helps a little, let us know how your both getting on. Big hugs x-x-x
Joined: 30 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 6876 Gender: Female
Posted: 15 October 2008 at 5:08pm | IP Logged
Babe I would really try not to worry, so long as she is in proportion then there is no real need for concern. Joshua has always been tiny for his age, and he doesn't eat a lot. He loves found, and when he eats its a healthy meal, but he just can not face a breakfast lunch and dinner, certainly not snacks inbetween. He will eat 2 good meals a day and the third will always be smaller (like tonight he is only having pie and gravy, he had a roast dinner at school). When Joshua started school 9and throughout his baby checks) he was on the 98th centile, he was so so tiny, and yet both me and his biological dad are tall and well built. I was always told not to worry, so long as his weight was in proportion to his height. He's been in school 2 years, still eats very little, and he has just shot up. He Is now in age 6-7 clothes (he's 5) he has no waist line as such and isn't terriblely heavy but he's still in proportion. I would cut back a bit on her juice if she has a lot, as that can bloat them so they eat less, but if she cant manage all that intake of food I would personally ignore the HV. They aren't always right, and certainly do not know your child like you do. Dont feel bad that you have been starving her, I am sure she'd have let you know if she was hungry lol Some kids just dont need or want a lot of food. Joshua is always on the go from sun rise to sun set (and beyond lol) and he eats so little, they take what they need. If you are going to introduce the snacks I would try sliced fruit or veg (carrot sticks etc), or maybe try the Organix finger foods in the supermarket, they are quite light and shouldnt over fill her for her proper meals. I wouldn't use things like rusk as she'll be full and will then start skipping her meals, or not eating a good amount. You have done nothing wrong babe, take her comments with a pinch of salt! Hugz n xxxxx
Joined: 11 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 8764 Gender: Female
Posted: 15 October 2008 at 5:27pm | IP Logged
You are doing a grand job hun! I was told to starve my 4th! If your lo is already eating fine, then you have nothing to worry about, they have got their procedures to go through regardless of who you are or how many kids you have got. I would suggest you make a food diary of what your lo eats and drinks, that way your hv can see exactly what she is eating. As has been said all kids do develop at a different rate. My 4th was weighing at over the 98th centile, now he is below the 50th.
Joined: 14 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 2439 Gender: Female
Posted: 15 October 2008 at 6:08pm | IP Logged
Don't even worry about hv's! They are more stress than help most of the time! You are doing a brill job as a mummy, and you need to do what is right for you and your little one!
Children grow at different rates, not one the same! Megan is a dot too, at age 1 she was a little smaller than 17lb, now at age 3 she is still to hit 30lb and is the shortest tot in her playschool, but she is perfectly healthy and eats a good varied diet! My son on the other hand reached over 20lb by 6 months of age and now aged 2 he weighs 28lb and is extremely tall for his age!
They seem to catch up eventually! Some just take more time than others!
Don't even think you have done a bad job or have starved her! She will only eat what she wants to and you should try not to make it a big deal otherwise there will be some issues with food! Megan picks at her dinners but i know she never goes hungry! They will always let you know they are hungry!
Carry on doing what you are doing, and don't do anything you feel uncomfortable doing, or aren't ready for! Sometimes their advice is sooo 'textbook', and not one child i know of is 'textbook'.
Hugs for you, i know how it is to have a small lo and the comments that go with it sometimes aren't pleasant and people automatically blame us...the parents!
Joined: 22 July 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 532 Gender: Female
Posted: 15 October 2008 at 6:48pm | IP Logged
thanks guys you have made me feel lots better. i will increase her food and she has had a few extra bits today and she seems happier lol. i will see how it goes and see what happens i have to go to see hv in 2 weeks so we shall see thanks again everyone
Joined: 11 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 6098 Gender: Female
Posted: 15 October 2008 at 6:54pm | IP Logged
Out of my 3 my middle daugher was the smallest and lightest until she reached 3 years old. Now she is 15 you would never know, she is still a stick insect, tall and gangly but doesn't stop eating and can't put weight on. She isn't 6 stone yet therefore hasn't reached puberty yet which she hates even though I assure her she really doesn't want her periods yet. Some people are just smaller than others. As long as she is eating and has energy I wouldn't worry too much. I did find with all of mine the more they drank the less they ate so cutting down the drinking might well help. If she doesn't like a cup you could possibly try a cup with a straw to make it more of a novelty.
Joined: 11 September 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 3072 Gender: Female
Posted: 15 October 2008 at 7:23pm | IP Logged
Hunny one of my best mates children is 4months younger than my youngest and height wise you wouldn't believe it, she's small, skinny (apart from a cute pot belly) and is only just in 18-24mth clothing (she's 2 and a bit). My son (whos 2 and 1/2) is in 2-3yrs clothing and sometimes 3yrs clothing, he seems to towers over her.... but they get on so well.
They are both healthy but ironically my son hardly eats but she's always eating..... try not to worry and take it with a pinch of salt (ops said the salt word).
You are doing a grand job there are just some wee cute children out there, just think you're getting true value for money on clothing.
Joined: 13 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 8832 Gender: Female
Posted: 15 October 2008 at 7:41pm | IP Logged
My son is 3 and a half and wears 18-24 month clothes and they still hang off his waist. He has a small appetite but it is healthy and varied. Try not to make a big deal as snibbug said you will make her uncomfortable and nervous around food and those sorts of feelings can stick into adulthood and cause issues.
Sometimes with the bottle/cup thing the best thing is just to go cold turkey - buy her a new cup that she picks out herself and tell her the new little babies need her bottles now she is a big girl, it might be worth a try.
Joined: 22 November 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 1596 Gender: Female
Posted: 15 October 2008 at 8:08pm | IP Logged
I've just looked in my Ben's red book and he was 16lb 3oz (7.34kg) when he was 1 year. I've never had a problem about him being small, but when he was a baby I got 'bullied' by the HV and others about it. I ignored them and followed my gut feeling. He never lost weight although he only put on a few ounces in between weigh ins. He's 4 now and weighs 28lb 3oz (12.8kg) and although he's small he's not the only petite boy in his pre school class. He still has full fat milk and I try not to give him 'low fat' versions of things like cheese and yoghurts. He eats regularly but doesn't eat much between meals (his choice). I think as long as the child is healthy and happy, not overly tired and hungry all the time, then theres no problem with them being small. Neither me nor my husband are 'big' and both our families are quite petite too, so I don't think Ben's destined to be huge lol! I try not to go by the weight charts in the book as I think they are highly inaccurate and misleading! If you tihnk she's ok and are happy with her diet ect. then everything is fine! Good luck and stay strong hunny!
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Del.icio.us
Digg
Google
Spurl
Blink
Furl
Simpy
Y! MyWeb
Topic: feeling like a bad mother now
