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Posted: 03 April 2009 at 9:16pm | IP Logged

DH informed me last night that he is thinking about having the snip.  I don't know how I feel about it.  I've always said that I would like Elliott to be older at least 3 before I even thought about having another child, but having another has been an opition for me.  DH is 15 years older than me and has said he's found it hard enough with the sleepless nights (Elliott's teething ) now let alone if he was 50.  He also has 2 sons from a previous relationship and now we have Elliott he has said he doesn't want anymore, 3 sons is enough.

I really don't know how I feel about it, am I ready to say thats it, no more children, I love Elliott more than anything but I think deep down I would like another baby one day.  Am I being selfish, is he being selfish? Should I support him no matter what?  I just don't know!?

Posted: 03 April 2009 at 9:32pm | IP Logged

Hiya hunny, (((((hugs))))) I know exactly how you feel - DH had the snip about a month ago and I felt devastated.  Although the circumstances dictated that this was the best option - my disability and Lewis's condition meant that bringing another child into the world would be the worst thing ever, it still didnt and still doesnt stop me wanting another child.  I dont suppose it ever will.

A close friend said to me that being a mother, you will never stop being broody or wanting another child - thats just the way it is - and shes right.  You are not being selfish at all - cos thats what I thought I was being - but its our instincts hunny.

Here for you if you need me - I completely sympathise

Nikki xxxxx

Posted: 06 April 2009 at 1:52am | IP Logged

I remember telling my friend's mum that my mum was expecting another baby. My friend's mum smiled at me and told me to tell my mum congratulations from her. She then gave her hubby a dirty look before leaving the room. Later on, my friend told me why: a few years go her dad had had the snip, against her mum's wishes, as he had decided he didn't want anymore kids. After hearing about my mum, my friend's mum later said to her husband "That could have been us, had you not been so selfish". My friend went on to say that her mum had never forgiven her dad for going through with the snip, and it often caused arguments between them.

I have four children who i love dearly but i still get clucky if i see a newborn, even though my youngest is only 11 months old! Like Funchick said, it's our instincts. I agree with the other posts in that you really ought to tell him how you feel because if he does go through with it, you might resent him in the future for taking the option of another child away from you. xxxx