pre-natal depression - Mental Health and Depression - Health Forums

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scaredmum
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Joined: 24 June 2009

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Posted: 24 June 2009 at 8:51pm \| IP Logged

I'm a mum of 2 and I've just found out that I'm pregnant again (3-5wks only, previous ectopic history meant early scan needed). I sufferred with Pre & Post Natal depression with both my previous successful pregnancies, which mainly resulted in me lashing out verbally at their father, my eldest son and minor self-harming. I also found I had a very low tollerance threshold for any of my sons behaviour and I'm already starting to find that I'm becoming short tempered and snappy with both the children.

I got some help from the local "SureStart" health visitors team during my second pregnancy but not nearly as much as I needed. I am terrified that this 3rd pregnancy will bring back the depression, my main concerns are my two existing children as I don't want them to suffer.

Both sets of grandparents are very old and cannot provide much support, friends and family talk supportive until I actually ask for help then suddenly everyone is far too busy. Their father says "if I keep it he'll love it given time" but don't expect much help for the first 18 months, which is how he behaved when the other two were babies.

Due to the early stage I'm contemplating termination, I was hoping scan would take my choice away but it is a "viable" pregnancy.
Any suggestions?

Edited by scaredmum on 24 June 2009 at 8:56pm

Vickimom
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Joined: 11 June 2005

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Posted: 24 June 2009 at 10:20pm \| IP Logged

I am afraid I can't help, but I'm defintely willing to listen. It is very hard when your partner isn't supportive( I have been married to the same man for 18 yrs and even he won't look after the 2 little ones without one or other of my teens being home). However, having a termination is a personal choice, and one that only YOU can answer, not even your partner can advise you on that. Just because you have had depression in the past does not guarantee you will get it this time, but you can get some prenatal anti depressants which are suitable while pregnant. I'd say your best bet would be to chat with your gp, and contact your surestart again, and see what help you can get. You may also be able to get a coucillor, who can at least listen when you are feeling way out of your depth. Give your self a date to make a decision by, but at the moment the worst thing you can do is panic, easily said I know, but not very easy when you are in the situation. Other than that I can send you cyber hugs and let you know you are not alone.

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Topic: pre-natal depression