Health Forums

Posted: 29 January 2010 at 8:30am | IP Logged

. Hello

Please can you help me, I think my wife has PND. I took a PND test on her behalf and answered what I could and scored very highly. This is not the only reason I think she has PND.

A little about our family we have a  3 year old son and a 10 week old baby.

My wife is constantly unhappy about something or other and I am now unable to “fix it” ( I have now also given up trying).

The main issues the she is battling with are

How her body is ruined, how ugly  she thinks she is , how fat she is and so on – I have tried telling her I still think she is beautiful and attractive, I have been encouraging as I can with regards to dieting and congratulating her every time she loses some weight

How much of her life revolves around the baby, and that she never gets time to do anything, she claims she can’t even go to the toilet without the baby crying and wanting attention.

How she has to do everything and it is all left up to her and that she is the only one that can do it right the first time.

The list goes on and on.

I mentioned as gently as I could a few weeks ago that she might have a “small” case of PND, this went down like a cup of cold sick and she didn’t talk to me for three days, and then every time she cried thereafter, she sarcastically told me not to worry, as she has PND.

To make matters worse is that my wife is a really really bad sleeper, always has been and once she is woken up say at 3am , that is it for the rest or the night she is awake. It doesn’t even help if she sleeps in the granny flat, she will wake up at some early hour and start worrying about the something or other.

It is like living on a roller-coaster but it always going down and never seems to be going up and if we are going “up” it only for about 2 mintues.

I am not sure how to help her anymore, she won’t see anyone , she thinks we can’t afford it and if we could she would rather use the money for gym so that and I quote “doesn’t look so disgusting” plus she doesn’t have the time to go anyway as it is all baby baby baby

Posted: 30 January 2010 at 11:51am | IP Logged

Can you give her anytime away from the young children and you? I never had the opportunity to have a break from my daughter until she was approaching 6 months old. I struggled to spend two hours just around the shops the first time I left her.

Shortly after I did have a bleak spell to which someone commented it was no wonder as I did not spend time for myself. It wasn't until she was a few years older that I began to re-find myself as opposed to a "mummy".

Though I had "help" from the health services, I have learnt it has to come from within.

You could contact your GP or HV, though this doesn't suit everyone. Walking is also beneficial.

Hugs.

Posted: 03 February 2010 at 11:36am | IP Logged

Hello

Thanks for the advice. There isn't anyone really i can get to help broach the subject, her Mom is of no use at all and wil just make the situation worse. If Itry her best friend, I am worried that she will think that we are ganging up against her.

We have had a good couple of days, basically since I last posted. But it doesn't take much to set her off ( don't know a nice way of putting it) .

I keep telling her to take some time off,  spend a day/night (possibly a weekend)with her Mom, but she  tells me that knowing she has to come back and knowing what she is coming back to - will make it worse

Posted: 11 February 2010 at 11:02pm | IP Logged

Im seeing you being concerned and taking the time to learn more to support her is fab. i think that is the best thing u can give her is your love and it will pull everything through this tough time. Hope u stay strong through ugliness or heartache.