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Posted: 21 November 2005 at 12:54pm | IP Logged

Hi, Not been on for ages...but I would like to request your opinion!

My husband has a good job here....however he has just been offered a very good job in Dubai, earning  loads of money tax free. We have lived in Dubai 2 years ago, so we know the place well.

 This all seems well and good but we are tossing up the idea of the children and I staying here in the UK. We have a 5 year old a nearly 2 year old and a 7 month old. The reason for this is the education in Dubai  is not great and our son has speech and language difficulties, and  in the last 6 months he has made huge progress...so we are hesitant to move him, from his very good school.

With my husbands deal we could afford to visit him every school holiday and he would return every 6 weeks. So the longest we would be apart is 4 weeks.

Any ideas and opinions? I know it seems harsh separating a family but what we could save in 2 years would really set us up for good. I really don't know aswith all  this all said and done our marriage and our children are the most important thing in life that no amount of money can replace.

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 1:00pm | IP Logged

  At lot of the girls i go to baby club have husbands that work on the rigs and they are away for 4weeks and then back for 4weeks so its a little different.

It depends on whether you would be happy about him not being there hun.  The down side is he is going to miss a lot of the childrens development.  Plus the younger ones doing new developmental things. 

Its a hard decision to make but only you can truely know how you will cope on your own hun x

Hope you sort it out soon sorry i am not much help xxx

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 1:01pm | IP Logged

Thats a tough one hun

You obviously know how strong your marriage is and if it could cope with your dh being away.

You just have to weigh up all the pros and cons and decide what is best for your family

My dh works away quite a lot and at first it did bother me but I am coping better with it now and our relationship if anything has got a lot stronger. Yes he misses the girls and they miss him but he more than makes up for being away when hes home with them

Just make sure if you do decide to stay and he goes you have plenty of help with the los

Let us all know what you decide

xx

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 1:10pm | IP Logged

aw sweetie, it is a real toughie, its soo hard when you have children in school too, and in a good school at that. 

Having said that we recently moved our children out of very good schools to move where we are now, and now theyve settled in, they are happier than ever and thriving.  On the upside your children are very young still and they can adapt very well. I remember having a neighbour a few years back and she loved Dubai, she worked out there a lot herself and the opportunity came up to live there with her work so she went for it.

My dh works silly hours at the moment, but an opportunity came up for the spring when he wont have to work away anymore. even tho he is always home at night, he carries a lot of guilt about not seeing the children much as he comes in when they are in bed.

I hope you can make the decision that you are both happy with, sorry Im crap at helping

let us know what happens

sending big hugs

lluv lilybxx

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 1:11pm | IP Logged

I cant tell you what to do. You have to decide what is best for you as a family!

All I can say is that personally I wouldnt be able to do it. I dont like being apart from DP and I know even at 7 months Edward misses him when he's away.

If you think the benifits outway the fact you'll be apart and you have people around to help out and give you company and time to yourself then go for it. But make sure you all talk it through.

Sorry I cant be more helpful.

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 1:12pm | IP Logged

That's a hard decision for you to make as a family.  It really depends on how you all cope as a family and whether the seperation would have a detremental affect on you all.  Like you say your family and marriage have to come first even though the extra money would be nice.  Also you would need to look at how it would affect the children with you partner being away.

Tough choice that only you can make.  Good luck and I am sure you will make the right choice for your family.

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 1:41pm | IP Logged

oh this is a tricky one and only you cam make the decision

i can tell you my experience of having an absent father was not a nice one.  my father worked in the raf and was often away on exercise sometimes in the uk but more often abroad.  i missed having him around and he made a public apology for this at my wedding which really touched me

this is my personal opinion:  check out the schools in dubai-alot can change over the years.  im sure there will be a decent international school there.  check to see if there is a special needs unit for your child

will your husbands company pay school fees or a percentage?  again worth investigating

my parents have a marriage overseas (my father now works in saudi arabia).  my mother lives in the uk but i wouldnt call it a marriage anymore.  they fight and quarrel because they dont know eachother anymore-its v. sad

when my husband thought about joining the foreign office there was no doubt in mind that i would go where ever he went.  when i became pregnant i was adamant that our children will travel with us no matter what and if a posting turned out to be a 'non child post' or the schools werent great then we wouldnt go

like i said this is just my opinion and you have to decide for yourself

good luck lovey

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 1:43pm | IP Logged

Obviously no onecould make that decision fr you but having said that could you move out to dubai in 6 months if it's not working!

I know if dh had a job and we could do that I would have no problem staying home with the kids!  but then I'm just different! lol

Hope you make your decision soon, and think of the excitement when you go to visit dh!

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 4:13pm | IP Logged

Aww seems like a tough decision but i think if ur husband wants 2 take the job & ur happy 2 b apart for a few weeks at a time then go for it

Like u say ur marraige & kids r the most important things so id guess that would make u moving 2 dubai out of the question especially if ur ds is doing so well atm so really wot u need 2 look at is how ur family will adjust 2 ur dp being away & whether u hav enough help & support around while hes gone

Good luck with ur decision

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 8:40pm | IP Logged

You'll know yourself whether your relationship as husband and wife and that of your family is strong enough to cope with the strain of you dh being away

Money comes and goes but you husband and your family dont.

You need to weigh up the pro's and cons of both sinarios and hopefully you'll make the right desicion

Good luck and i hope what ever you decide will make you all happy x

Hugs Corrine & LOuis x