Terrible Teens Forum

Posted: 07 December 2005 at 1:13pm | IP Logged

hey, i'll cut straight to the point!

basically ive gotten to know this really gr8 guy and im completely smitten (ask mumsam!!!) but the problem is although my DM is ok wiv me seeing older boys my dad is way too over protective and has put an age limit on the guys im allowed to "go out wiv"

im 17 in march and hes 20 in august so there is only 2years and 7months between us!!! i kno im kind of being a rebellious teen but i do really like him. mum doesnt mind as she knows im happy but i cannot tell my dad becoz he wud be out with the shotgun and spade.

i told dad this morn that john was 19 but he said "hes not ur bf tho is he?" i said no, as we're just getting to know each other but i would like to be in a relationship wiv him. u may say im stil young but i am very mature for my age and have bf's where we'll last like 9/10months (not long but for my age its a big accomplishment lol)

me and john get on sooooo well and we enjoy each others company there hasn't been a day in the last month where he hasnt come to c me 4 like 5mins after work!!! he makes such an effort with me and knows that my dad doesnt want me going out with older guys but to be honest wen my dad first started d8in my mum he was 3year older than my mum.

i dont know how to tell him ive fallen for john

its a slight case of romeo and juliet as johns parents hav sed. apart from the fact there isnt a family war!!!

johns parents are wicked and i get on really well with his mu. i just want my dad to be happy for me and stop being so over protective as i cant talk to him about anything!!! im hardly d8in a man 30years older than me!!!

PLEASE HELP!!!

Splodge

xxx

btw kieth and mum r gr8 wiv the whole how to be parents thing.  as they dont send me to bed at 9pm wiv lights off at 930pm and i know tht mum understands with me wanting to go out with older guys. they r so layed bak and ollie is gona be a gr8 kid wen he grows up!!!

xxx

Posted: 07 December 2005 at 1:42pm | IP Logged

Simply use the email this topic function (bottom of the page) to email this to your Father so he can read it and see how you really feel.

Posted: 07 December 2005 at 1:47pm | IP Logged

awww sweetie, as mummy of 4 little girls, I feel we are going to have plenty of convos like this!!!

I think you are really mature, and feel that you sound sensible enough to judge where you want this to go with this guy.  Im so happy your mum is cool with it, us ladies are good judges of character lol!

Has he been round to meet yr dad? Just a thought, he might feel better if he meets him in person and sees how he is with you when you are together.

Its very hard being a parent, we want to protect our kids, but at the same time dont want to be over protective, its going to be very hard for me and our childrens dad when the time comes, I can promise u

I once had a babysitter who was 16 and very mature, I had no worries about leaving all my children with her when we went out, so not all 16 - 17 year olds are the same,and you sound really mature for ur age as I said before..

I cant think of what else you can do to make dad feel better about it, he just wants the best for you, but its hard if you like this guy and hed rather you saw someone of the same age. awwww big hugs, ive been there myself.

hope he comes round and feels better about it all soon

lots of luv

lilybxxx

Posted: 07 December 2005 at 1:48pm | IP Logged

Aww hun you sound like you have got your head screwed on anyway!

I kind of know what you are going through as my dad was a bit like that with me when i was your age.

Has he actually met this guy? Maybe give him a bit of time to get to know him and let him see how nice he is.

My dad wasn't just as bad about it as yours seems but I know he wasn't pleased when I was 16 and going out with a 19 year old. But once he got to know him he accepted him (he turned out to be a right plonker tho so maybe dad was right lol!!)

don't really know what other advice to give you hun except to try and sit down and tell your dad excatly how you are feeling - easier said than done i know!

Dads are very protective of their little girls! Even when they are 26 like I am!!!!

At least your mum is happy for you at least thats one battle you don't have to fight.

Hope it all works out for you

xxx

PS Thats so nice what you said about mumsam and flip xxx

Posted: 07 December 2005 at 2:00pm | IP Logged

I think mums just understand better than dads

i was just 16 when i started seeing my dp who at the time was21 (were still together)

My dad would have kealed over in shock if he knew but i kept it secret Not that i think you should, i think you need to explain exactly how you feel and how you feel when your with this lad, as flip says email him the topic so he can read for himself

You sound mature enough to make desicions on your own

my mum used to say to me & my sisters you only learn from mistakes you make yourselves, if you get hurt ill be here to pick up the pieces and she let us get on with it

I think you should just tell him all, and see how you get on

Hugs x

Posted: 07 December 2005 at 2:13pm | IP Logged

He's a dad and he's thinking of your wellbeing!  I'm not gonna sit here and take sides, but I was rebellious, and was 17 going out with a 24yr old! More to get on dads nerves than anything else!  What can I say he's the proud father of my 4 children with no5 on the way!  If he finds out from someone else the shotgun and spade will be the least of your worries!  E-mail your feelings to him and give him a chance for them to go in before you say anything!  I cheated I told him I was pregnant then went to my room!  He never spoke to me for 2 weeks!  But he came round, at least if you act like a responsible person and not a stroppy teen about it, it will help your cause no end! Hope all goes well for you hun!

Loved your response flip!

Posted: 07 December 2005 at 2:37pm | IP Logged

i think at 17 you sound mature enough to know your own mind

i can understand your father wanting to protect you as well

heres some sound advice my husband always says about fathers n daughters

'fathers are over protective of their daughters cos they know what young men are like at that age because they were exactly the same'.  its a good way of seeing it from their point of view.  thank god weve got boys - less worry i say!!

your stepfather is right in suggesting that you email your father if you dont want to talk to him face to face about how you feel

just remember at the end of the day it doesnt matter what you do you will always be you fathers lil girl and hell always love you and be there for you

good luck and let us know how you get on!

Posted: 07 December 2005 at 3:27pm | IP Logged

Aww hun its a tough one. I'm only 21 so it wasnt that long ago I was in you shoes. Actually my shoes were far worse, I was only just 18 when I started seeing Tony, he was 51! Everyone said it'd never work, we are now engaged and have a beautiful son!

I didnt tell my parents for over 6 months and it was awful sneaking around, nearly getting caught, turned out they'd worked it out ages before I offically told them.

Explain to you dad how you feel and that you understand how he feels too. Tell him you would like him to meet John as you both want his approval. If you handle the situation maturaly as I am sure you are more than capeable he will have nothing to complain about. If he gets angry dont retaliate, just tell him you understand why he is upset, leave it and try again at another time.

Sometimes putting things into writing can help as long as you make sure you talk them through afterwards.

Good luck hun, I know dads are tough but they only do it bacause they love you!

BTW My dad and dp get on amazingly well now even though dp is older then dad(!) so there is hope for everyone yet!

Posted: 07 December 2005 at 5:21pm | IP Logged

Splodge, Splodge Splodge.....  He is your father he will never approve of any man you go out with as you are his baby girl and not nearly 17.

Incidentally he is still 3 yrs older than me and isn't his wife 3 yrs older than him?

When you have a son you have one willy to worry about when you have a daughter there are hundreds of willies to worry about!!  My father has only just started to speak to me after nearly 5yrs because I got divorced.  Fathers and daughters have an odd relationship.

Honesty is the best policy.  What can he do, ground you?  Shout at you?  Forbid you from ever seeing him again?  I don't think Daddy is that silly he knows that won't work.  Your 16 nearly 17 and if you want to be treated maturely then you need to act matuerly which means taking the consequences for your actions.  No point in lieing Daddy will find out anyway and if you have lied that will just make it 100 times worse.

He is only concerned for your welfare and that you don't get hurt because he doesn't understand how you feel because he is a man.

Oh and use a CONDOM!

Posted: 07 December 2005 at 7:33pm | IP Logged

Mumsam - am LOVIN your work here...!! LOLLOL!!!

Splodge you wee beastie..... I totally agree with your ma and everyone else on this one. Honesty is deff the best policy. Its a tough on but the bottom line is that a 17 you can leave school, learn to drive and join the army.. so you know your mind and you're old enough to make your own decisions..

When Angus and me got engaged, my dad took angus for a walk round the garden to welcome him to the family, and oh by the way.. don't mess her around sort of thing!! Thats Dads for you. But, if you did lie, then it really would be 100000000 times worse.

Big hugs to you... and use the forse....

Diz n Ella xxxxxxxxx