Pregnancy Forums

Posted: 23 March 2006 at 12:36pm | IP Logged

I just wondered if I am weird or if anyone feels the same as me -

I really want to know more about Ellie's birth and why certain decisions were made and well, just what happened really...

Just reading back over people's birth stories makes me curious about why I can't remember so much about the experience I had with Ellie...I have been thinking about it more and more lately - I don't know if it's because Ellie is coming up to 1, or if it's because we are thinking about trying for another baby soon..but I can't get it out of my head..

Basically, I ended up having an emergency section under a general anaesthetic - I was only in the delivery suite about 90 mins but I can't remember most of that and my DH doesn't like talking about it because it was v stressful for him..I had a precipitative labour (v fast) but the whole thing is a blur really, I can only remember snippets of it..

I'm not sure why I had a general anaesthetic - I know I was screaming at them and the baby was breech and trying to make an escape - I don't know if I asked for a general or if for some reason, they needed baby out v quickly...

I don't know what it would achieve if I found out more about it, or if this is even possible - they didn't seem madly keen to discuss it with me afterwards altho I did ask for someone to go thru the notes with me, they just sort of dismissed it as not important - I do know that I am scared of having another baby because of the labour/birth bit and I think I would ask for a planned section if I could, even tho with Ellie I really didn't want one...

Does anyone else feel like this about their labour/birth or I am odd?  (Dizie, no clever comments lol)

Posted: 23 March 2006 at 12:46pm | IP Logged

I know I have written my 'birth story' but in actual fact I remember very little of that day. Just snippits that I have managed to piece together. It is a stressful event, even more so in your case and your brain naturally copes by shutting it out. Also with so much going on, with your contractions and worry for your baby, I doubt very much your brain was up to taking much in at the time.

You have the right to see your medical notes. Contact your doctors surgery and ask how you go about doing it and make sure you say you want to see your hospital file too. If there is anything in there you dont understand ask your gp to go through it with you.

I know how you feel in a way as Edwards birth was stressful and it still upsets me to think about it as I was desperate for a natural birth. As the lo's near 1 it makes us think more and more about that time.

Good luck - I hope you get the closure you need (sorry if i waffled on a bit!)

Posted: 23 March 2006 at 1:07pm | IP Logged

Hello, Yeah i kind of know how you feel, my labour was a blur to i only remember small parts of it and don't really know all the ifs and buts etc but like madz said its probably your brain shutting it out as a coping mechanism. Emily's birth was also very stressful and my labour was a horrible time - I don't think even in this day and age we are given all the information we need about our birthing experiences - You should definately ask your doctor to see if they can help you with the information! I hope you get the info you need

                    Hannah x

Posted: 23 March 2006 at 1:29pm | IP Logged

My mum told me I wouldnt remember my labour after it, if women did then the population wouldnt definitely take a huge dip lol She was right though I dont remember much at all, and I only got little bits from my mum. I was taken to threatre with a retained placenta but no one explined anything before or after, but then I didnt ask. You should seek advice from your doctor about viewing your labour notes. You do have the right. Also explain that you are thinking of having another one, but you have no idea what the first one was like and why things happened the way they did. Tell them you need to know, not only for peace of mind, but so that you can plan baby number 2 without having to worry about the labour approaching.

Good luck with the baby making when you get started!

Posted: 23 March 2006 at 1:31pm | IP Logged

i don't think you're weird at all.  i think you need to know as reasurrance for next time.  i remember vividly both my labours although i sometimes get confused between the two-lol.  there are also some things that i would rather forget!!

tbh as much as i enjoyed my children arriving into the world it isn't something i dwell on.  however, i am obsessed with taking their pictures and keeping journals both on the web and in a book.  these are the kind of memories i want to remember.

please don't worry too much about giving birth again.  i know it's a cliche but really no two labours are the same.  i say mine are similar but there were major differences also.  for instance i tore badly with max resulting in 2nd degree tears which left me in agony so much that i couldn't go to the loo or walk properly.  this played on my mind so much that when i fell pregnant again just 9 months later that i was having the most horrific nightmares.  i got myself into a right state about it, but luckily i tore so small that the mw didn't want to sew me up!  having tom was so much easier, even though he took longer.  i felt more in control the second time round as i knew what to expect.

i know it isn't easy, but if you do find out more about your labour try and focus on the positive aspect and don't dwell too much about the nasty side.

hth. zo xxxx

Posted: 23 March 2006 at 3:06pm | IP Logged

I don't think you are wierd either!  I have had 4 births with another one due, and I only remember one of them, but that is more from asking people at the hospital than most things.

With my first, i was induced, i remember them breaking my waters and not much else except feeling like there were 50 nurses at the end of the table! lol  with my 3rd gas and air and a quick labour did me well, i was more shocked at the fact i had a daughter, and as for fred another one i can't really remember as i was on g&a as well as pethadine, and with him his weight stuck in my head!  Now as for number 2, problem birth problem child, I remember it all too well having been in and out of hospital with bleeding, knowing they couldn't get an ambulance, and bleeding instead of waters make for interesting readin when you know it's not gonna happen again!  However how I went on to be expecting my 5th child knowing what I went through with ds2, only a shrink could tell me!  Maybe I ought to put my story for ds2 in words, it'll make sure i do get sterilised after this one!

I wish I could blank it out, but who knows

Don't go looking if you are a squeamish person, i still can't have a normal period without thinking I'm gonna bleed to death!

Posted: 23 March 2006 at 3:07pm | IP Logged

GREEDY YOU ARE ODD!!! Sorry, couldn't help myself....

But seriously.... My GP has lodged a complaint with the hospital following some of the goofs that were made and he has a full report of my c-section, which I have been allowed to see. I don't know if different hospitals have different proceedures but as I was under consultant care and had an emergency c-section, the whole proceedure was documented. If this was the same for your hospital, yours should have been too.

Mine was quite interesting. For example, i didn't know Ella came out arm first cos of how she was lying. I also know which bits of me were taken out and put back in (they never did find my brain.. ). I've also had some info on the blood loss etc etc. Its an on going enquiry and so more still be to come, and had my GP not lodged a complaint, I don't know if the report would have been available, but it might be worth having a word with your GP and asking.

I know what you mean about being scared of having another as I feel the same. The chances are that I will need another section if I do, and so when I think about it - as it will be planned, I know what I would do that would make it better. For example, I wouldn't have the 2 days of labour - you wouldn't have the high drama and general anesthetic. I would have stiches, I'd try and get a private room etc etc etc. And when I look at it like that, I know that I feel a bit better about it. But then I remember that Ella is nearly 1 and still doesn't sleep!!! grrrrr

hth - and you're still odd....

Posted: 24 March 2006 at 8:16pm | IP Logged

thanks everyone, it sounds like it's quite normal for it to be quite a blur...

I think I might leave it and see if I get pregnant again (not trying yet!!!) and then ask about it then - I just think that I might look odd if I go to the doctors out of the blue and ask for it to be dug out...and I don't know if it would really achieve anything, except satisfy my curiosity..

thanks again

Posted: 24 March 2006 at 8:36pm | IP Logged

nooo dont leave it, im glad some-one else feels the same, as i wanna know more about mine, i also had a c-section and even though i was awake during it i cant remember a whole lot or even why i had to have one (2 weeks b4 my due date),

alls i know is i went in after havin a big bleed, within a hour i was told they were going to give me a section as babys heart beat was slowing down but basically thats all i got to know, it was silly of me to leave without asking questions but that was the last thing on my mind then, i just wanted to get home with my new baby,

next time at the docs im deffinatly going to ask him to dig mine out, apparently there kept in records for 25 years (ive been told)