Post Natal Depression Forum

Posted: 23 June 2006 at 6:17pm | IP Logged

I've been on antidepressants for 14 months now, and although I'm not 100% better, I'm beginning to feel like I'm not going to get much better than I am right now! That's not to stay I'm going to stop taking the tablets just yet, I just wondered how you know its time?

I've been depressed before and taken anti d's. The 1st time, it was very clear cut what was happening, I'd lost a friend to cancer who was 22, and my much loved Grandad had died suddenly. A combination of these factors and where I was at the time pulled me into depression. I saw a councilor, and she was fantastic. Combined with the pills, I was only on them 9 months.

The 2nd and 3rd times, I used St Johns Wort, both times for about 6-7 months, and I knew when it was time to stop them.

This time, its all very different. In no way shape or form am I as bad as I was 14 months ago. But I do have dark days, but then who doesn't? I'm always going to have bad days, I'm not naive enough to think that life is perfect, but the bad days aren't quite so bad as they used to be. I still have wobblies, (panic attacks) but I always have had.

I'm still keeping my diary, and I am having a lot of good days, and a lot of bearable days. The last time I had what I would call a really bad day was last week, but before that it was at least 3 weeks.

I saw my GP on Tuesday, and we're going to review it in 2 months time. I just wondered what anyone else's experiences were with knowing when to stop?

Posted: 23 June 2006 at 7:35pm | IP Logged

I got put on the 'happy pills' at a dosage that would knock your sox off, when I was going through my divorce and ex threatening to take natasja away from me.  I took them for a month and went back for a review with the doc, saw a different one to the one that put me on it...she went nuts at the dosage as I wouldn't get anywhere on the dosage I had been on, she reduced it down to a dosage that she seemed fit for me to take, so that I could do some of the work myself instead of pure chemical doing it for me..if that makes sense.  I was on them for six months (due to being military got monitored more than most), at the end of the six months the doc said that as I was no longer having the panic attacks and feeling like I was in a big black hole that she thought it was time to come off them.  I was fine when I came off, but by then I was ready to come off them, my life was sorting itself out and working ok.  That was nearly five years ago

I did have a hiccup though last year.  Hubby was away for 10 months of the year, which anyone with a military background or know of anyone in the military is hard going.  Having to live with the daily grind of young children who missed their daddy and played up because of it, also the day-to-day running of the house.  During this period you name it, and it happened...central heating broke down, natasja got measles, i was poorly, constant children have ear infections, throat infections, colds, the sodding roof tiles blowing off, car breaking down, arguments with teachers over having an unstable home life due to hubby being away, ex being a pain in the backside..his usual trick when hubby away. The hardest part was the one 10 minute phone call from Joe a week, due to where he was.

Literally Joe would come home on the monday go into work on the tuesday morning and be back by lunchtime to pack yet another bag.  So I had no notice or had the time to prepare either myself or the girls for him going away.  It felt like there was a giant hole that was just getting deeper and deeper and instead of hanging on by my fingertips which I had been doing for a few months, I was at the bottom of this hole looking up and seeing a tiny bit of daylight..if that makes sense.  I lost the plot, but knew I needed help, I saw the doc after 2 minutes of starting to tell him the basics he stopped me and gave me the prescription..he was surprised that I had lasted as long as I had.  He also informed the HV to pop in to show a friendly face, which bless her she did the next day.  She was worried as she had never had anything to worry about with me before.  She knew the girls were fine, and as she put it, I needed somebody to look after me for a while instead of me looking after everybody else.  She said that instead of spreading myself to thin as everyone external to family always seemed to want something from me, she said shut the door and tell the world to eff off for a few days. 

When Joe finally came home, I could tell him properly what had been going on, he went nuts because I hadn't told him sooner, but as I pointed out to him that where he had been for the last few months, the last thing he needed was me saying...can't do this need help.  Not a good idea to screw up his head at that point in time.  He sorted it out at work and they agreed to keep him home for a minimum of six months so I could have some stability.

I stopped taking the pills just after christmas as I felt I was ready to come off them.  If you feel that you are ready to come off them, discuss it with your doctor completely and see if they will reduce the dosage over a certain time period so that then your body will take over where the chemicals had been boosting your system.  If you are not ready, don't come off them, it doesn't matter how long you are on them for as long as they are doing what they are supposed to and you are coping with the boost that they give you.  Everything takes time and eventually it all falls into place.

Chin up chic

Posted: 23 June 2006 at 9:24pm | IP Logged

Hi Steph, and thanks for your post. And yes that does all make sence!

I'm going to keep noting things down in my diary, and will see the doctor in 6 to 8 weeks and have a good chat with him. At the moment, I'm feeling like I don't know how much is the tablets helping and how much is the improvements in me helping. So we'll see what happens over the next few months.

The other thing is that DH and I are thinking about trying for another baby in the new year. Not definate yet, just a thought at the mo. And I'd like to be off the tablets before I try. The doc has said that he can change me to an anti d that would be ok with ttc, but for myself, I need to be in a position where I know I've recovered before I even start to ttc.

Thanks so much for your reply. And I'm so glad to hear that you're OK!

Posted: 24 June 2006 at 9:22am | IP Logged

My experience with anti d's - both with me and my mum is to be feeling 'better' for 6 months before coming off them. That was for 'normal' depression so I dont know if the rules are different for PND.

My mum has had a few occassions where she has felt she was ok, came off her anti d's (without support) and had a bad relapse. The important thing is to come off them with the help off a gp, lowering the dose slowly and then going to one every other day etc until they are out of your system - dont go cold turkey.

Saying that when I fell pregnant with Edward I was on anti d's and they were considering uping my dosage. I was already on a high dose but I didnt want to take them while pregnant and I had to come off them in 3 days. I was monitored by the mental health team but amazingly I havent had to go back to them.

Your gp will advice you but make sure you have been feeling good for a while before coming off and dont expect miricles - remember we all have down days anyway.