Post Natal Depression Forum

Posted: 02 July 2006 at 10:40pm | IP Logged

I didn't know what to call this thread, but I just wanted to have a shout out to those suffering with post natal depression and to say don't suffer in silence!

I've been a bit illusive this last week, and that was stupid of me and fortunately, I was rumbled by another madmum! I know that I am my own worst enemy when it comes to looking after myself, but sometimes its too hard to see the wood for the trees. I've not had a good few weeks. My asthma has been really bad and I've been on steroids for nearly 3 weeks now. I've also had antibiotics and have started to feel like I would rattle if I jumped up and down! I'd forgotten just how rubbish the steroids can make you feel, and so have got myself into a bit of a state.

I feel that after 14 months I should be better, but I'm not and I have to accept that this doesn't mean I've failed. But that's hard to do. I'm no where near as bad as I was, I don't spend every day in tears, but I am still having problems sleeping, anxiety issues and those crippling fears of leaving the house. I went to the doctor, and he said that they could increase my dosage on the antidepressants, but I don't want to do that yet, as I feel that I want to do some of the work myself. I've come this far and improved, so surely I can continue to improve.

I know that I expect too much of myself, I can't help it. But I need to accept that this is me for the moment. That said, I find it so hard to get my head around this illness. Why do I still feel like this after 14 months?

There are no answers, but one thing is for sure - I can't do this on my own and hiding in my little hole doesn't make things any better. I'm not begging for sympathy here honestly. If anything, I'm making myself shout out instead of bottling everything up. And I need to teach myself that lesson, so here it is and next time I feel like this, I must read my own post!

Posted: 02 July 2006 at 11:05pm | IP Logged

 Well done Dizie. I admire your strength so much! I know sometimes its easy to want things to happen now, but somethings just take that little bit longer. Keep going with your head high babe you are doing so well and will continue to do so!

And yes when you feel down and want to hide away read your posts, I do! And it really works for me, I mean it when I say I admire your strength.

Hugz and kisses Dizie, keep smiling babe xxxx

Posted: 03 July 2006 at 7:32am | IP Logged

you daft bugger (affectionately)

You know we are all always here (sad; but true!)

If only you lived nearer-i'd be knocking on your door to surprise (scare) you

LOLOL BIG hugsinrugsonslugs

jo pegs and crow xxx

Posted: 03 July 2006 at 9:35am | IP Logged

Dizie I think you are doing really well babe and the fact that you had the strength to write all that says a lot!

As Chris and Jopsy say we are always here

Take Care xxxx

Posted: 03 July 2006 at 11:40am | IP Logged

I sympathise Dizie. It can be so easy to hide away when it all seems too much but that is the last thing we should do.

I'm so sorry you have been feeling low, it is so hard to go through a low patch when things have seemed to be on the up. You have done so well and come so far in 14 months. Unfortunatly there is no miricle cure but it does get better babe.

We are always here for you.

Huge hugs... Mxxx

Posted: 03 July 2006 at 12:35pm | IP Logged

Hi Diz, Im sorry to hear youre feeling bad

But as everyone has said, you have come soo far, and I know you will get there, you are a strong lady!!

sending big hugs

luv sharonxxx

Posted: 03 July 2006 at 1:28pm | IP Logged

Big Massive squidgy bear hugs Diz x

Im not very good with words, but having suffered pnd, 10 months of which were undiagnosed i totally know where your comming from. Its tough but you have to think positive (easier said than done i know)

right im shutting up now

keep you chin up x

Posted: 03 July 2006 at 2:05pm | IP Logged

Thank you all for your lovely pms and your words on here, you really don't know how much it means to me.

I sometimes feel like I use this site to go off on one about pnd, and feel that I should shut up and get on with it - which is stupid and no one is saying that, its just my mind. I had an odd conversation with a lady I know who has a daughter the same age as Ella, where her sil has just be diagnosed with pnd. She didn't know anything about it, and was asking me questions which was fine but she couldn't get how you just don't pull yourself together. I know that's her problem, not mine but I then start to feel like i should pull myself together!

I'm still keeping my diary, and I'm taking each day one step at a time. I've decided that I'm going to tackle the sleep thing by going to bed at a reasonable time and trying to relax before going to bed. (thanks MumSam - you are dead right again!) Also, like now - Ella is asleep, so I'm going to have a sneaky kip too! Its daft, but I feel guilty for thinking of doing that, but why the hell not! The washing can wait another half and hour!

But again, thank you all so much. You are my lifeline and I've said it before but I know that things would be very different for me without the support and friendship that you have given me. I genuinely believe that you have got me through this so far and I have found a support network of people who genuinely understand how challenging motherhood is on its own and the effect that this illness can have. Its so refreshing, as any toddler group I go to, I feel as if there is an act going on of who is the best yummy mummy, whereas on here, I can tell you all that I'm not sleeping, that I look like crap and that I feel like it to and I know that you won't judge me for it. So thank you all.

Group hug guys! Big up the Madmums Massive!

Posted: 03 July 2006 at 6:07pm | IP Logged

pnd or not you always look like ---p!

Just kidding-you are lovely

rin she's very strong she picked me up and tossed me like a caber last time i saw her  

I think lots of baths,choc and shpping is the call of the day

oh, and visits to moles in devon 

Posted: 03 July 2006 at 7:15pm | IP Logged

Nobody can be too down for too long with you about jopsy, you always make me smile lol

your a very good happy tonic