Health Forums

Posted: 18 July 2006 at 10:48pm | IP Logged

Hi I am a mammy to a 3 and a half year old who is generally well adjusted and happy, HOWEVER just lately she is suffering from extreme fears and anxieties.  In the past fortnight she has been scared of an inflatble spiderman she saw in someone's  bedroom window, thought it was in our house and was so terrified to go upstairs.  Then she was scared to go out in the back garden as she said she could see something in the neighbours window.  She wouldnt go in my bedroom as she said she could see a fork on the curtains which scared her, and now at the minute she is scared of the veins on her arms and keeps crying saying she is turning stripey!!!!!!

Some of these fears are really OTT, when I say she is scared, she really screams and goes rigid and clings to you, she ends up being sick and it is really getting me down as I feel so exhausted emotionally seeing her scream like that, she is currently going through night terrors so this isnt helping things.

Just wondered if anyone out there has children who have had similar fears and how they handled it?????

Posted: 18 July 2006 at 11:44pm | IP Logged

Is she definitely having night terrors or are they nightmares babe? If she is having nightmares this could be causing her to have extreme fears during waking hours as the nightmares still exist in her sub-conscieous. If you talked to her about her fears is she bright enough to talk through them or just totally not understand?

Have you tried taking her to the window to show her it is safe and nothing scary? Show her your arms and veins so she knows its normal, maybe by a very basic book that shows veins in people, again if she will comprehend.

I have spoke with a few peolpe who's los suffer with mightmares/night terrors and some have bought a dream catcher. They sit the children down and tell them this will catch all the bad dreams so they dont have to have them, it seems to work and the nightmares stop. Although you shouldnt discuss night terrors with los.

Also dont feed the lo up before bed on anything that will way heavy or cheeses and things. A light snack is enough and will help with a sounder night sleep. Hopefully if the night time is soothing the daytime fears will also fade. Give her plenty of reassurance.

Hope this phase soon passes for you babe, hugz to you both xxx

Posted: 19 July 2006 at 7:22pm | IP Logged

Luckily none of my children have suffered night terrors and they have only had the normal amount of nightmares that children get.  But when I was a child I can remember being really afraid of things at windows and patterns on curtains to the point I would lay paralysed with fear in bed and hysterical.  It must have been bad as I can still remember vividly how scared I was.

Did something happen to trigger off her fear?  Did it start at a particular time?  It might be something really small and insignificant that you wouldn't even realise it's what triggered the fear off.  I also had a recurring nightmare as a child about a dog trying to break into my Nans house and bite me.  It was only when I was about 20 my Mum told me a dog nearly attacked me when I was 2 and if it hadn't been for our own dog defending me I dread to think what might have happened.  As a 2yr old I must have been very small and frightened with 2 very large dogs fighting in front of me our dog was a rough collie and the other dog a black lab.  Things stick in our subconscious as children that we don't understand and come out in other ways. 

Lots of reassurance and also don't show that it bothers you at all and I am sure she will be fine soon.

Posted: 19 July 2006 at 9:34pm | IP Logged

Hi thank you all for your replies,

i do think seeing the spiderman inflatable in the window triggered all these fears off.  She has recently started to be afraid of bouncy castles and thing in fancy dress too, it probably is an awkward phase, and the fact she was such an easy baby has probably meant we are paying for it now lol

Posted: 19 July 2006 at 9:39pm | IP Logged

I remember being scared of the patterns on curtains in the dark - i could always see scary shapes on them so my mum bought me plain curtains

I hope this is just a phase for her, i guess most kids go through a fear of something or other

Posted: 21 July 2006 at 3:45am | IP Logged

Hiya

Bless her little cottons.  I don't know about anyone else but I can't sleep if the wardrobe is open..just in case the wardrobe monster comes out...or if there are chinks in the curtain which make odd shapes...i get convinced its the bogeyman.  Natasja went through the same sort of thing at that age, a friend of ours was out one day in the market and came across some dreamcatchers and got her one.  Since then she has been fine, so phew for mates who find things in obscure places. 

According to my mum i was a complete nightmare when I was the same age...more or less along the lines of Chicken Little (was convinced the sky was going to fall down).  My grandad won a poster of a tiger from the local ESSO garage many many years ago.  So he put it up in my bedroom and said that my tiger would look after me and chase away all the bad dreams.  Now my tiger is a very regal magestic looking guy, doesn't matter where u stand in the room his eyes always look at you...my hubby isn't keen on him, simply because he is convinced the tiger is looking at him all disapproving.  I've had my tiger since I was 18mths old, I am now 29, he's in a frame now, well he has been since I was 18 to preserve him.  He still looks after me even now, and whenever we move hes always the first picture that goes up...on the wall facing my bed so he can chase away all the bad dreams. 

Its just a thought, but if I am still convinced at 29 that he chases away all the bad dreams, then maybe you could try something like that for your lo, so she has her own bedtime guardian.