Parenting Forums

Posted: 28 July 2006 at 8:58pm | IP Logged

Ollie has always been quite good at going to bed initially, he cries sometimes but don't all babies?  A few months ago he was going to bed and then waking up after an hour screaming, really crying tears streaming down his face.  I put it down to teething.  This last week he has started doing it again, I am pretty sure he isn't teething.  It doesn't seem to be night terrors as he is fully awake and doesn't display any of the other signs that Chris put in her article on night terrors.  It could be nightmares....

When I go up to him and calm him down I used to bring him downstairs but then he would be up for a good 1-2 hours.  We decided we didn't want to encourage him coming downstairs as it would confuse his bedtime even more.  So when he wakes up now I take him in our bedroom and feed him and cuddle him.  He is normally still quite sleepy and lovely.  When he has calmed down and finished feeding I take him back to his cot and lay him down which is fine but the minute I go to leave him he starts really crying again even though I know he is tired.

I have tried not to lift him when he wakes and to comfort him in his cot but he just gets more upset to the point he vomits, then you may as well forget him going to bed for hours.

I leave him when he starts to cry after having put him back down and go downstairs.  I watch him on the monitor he normally just sits or lays in his cot really crying and rubbing his eyes and then eventually drops off.

My question is, is there anything else I could do?  The girls never did this sort of thing once they were in bed and eventually sleeping through the night nothing bar a small bomb would have woken them up.  Ollie still wakes most nights at about 3am for a feed which I don't mind at all as it normally lasts about 15mins and then he goes straight back in his cot with no bother.

It's really hard to leave him so upset when he is so lovely and cuddly if I stayed upstairs with him he would be more than happy but I don't want him to have problems going to bed when he gets older.

Posted: 28 July 2006 at 9:49pm | IP Logged

I really don't know what else there is that you can do, as Ella has started to do sort of the same thing.

For all her sleep problems, she's always gone off to sleep fine on her own, even from 3 or 4 months old. Since tuesday, she's been really fighting it. I thought it was because I'd been at work, and she'd been at home with mil so hadn't had any distractions like she gets at my sisters.

The only thing that I have done is as follows:

I sit on the floor and hold her hand, then I let go of her hand. I sit for a bit, then move towards the door - so she can still see me. I give it a bit longer, and then move a bit further towards the door. She usually cries at this point, but can still see me. I then move to the other side of the door, but stay there and say - mummy's here, its time to go to sleep. She cries, but not to the vommiting stage.

I don't know if thats any use or not. I will admit that at 5.30 the other morning after she'd been up 2 hours, I put her in her cot and left her to it. She did go quiet in the end..

If anyone has any suggestions, I'm interested too!

Posted: 28 July 2006 at 11:49pm | IP Logged

Lily too is usually great at going to bed and 9 times out of 10 will sleep through

But this past week she has been waking up screaming - she stops as soon as I pick her up but when I try to lay her back down she starts again

I thought it was the heat and have been giving her some water but it takes ages to get her back down.  I end up just having to let her cry it out.

I am sorry I have no advice either but I am doing the same as you - hopefully its just a phase and they'll get back to normal soon

xxxxxxxx

Posted: 29 July 2006 at 10:30am | IP Logged

My lo is only 10 months and is really good for going to bed thank God. (so far so good)

But my sil ds was really bad at night, he would wake up at 5.00 in the morning screaming crying and refuse to go back to sleep. She never took him into their bed as she doesn't believe in it.

She actually put him into his own bed (out of his cot) and he has been fine. the only thing is shane was 2 at the time. It could be just a phase and he grew out of it around the same time he was put into his small bed ???

Posted: 30 July 2006 at 7:16pm | IP Logged

At this stage in the April babies development they are going through a lot of emotional and physical changes. They want to be able to do more things than they can and it is very fustrating for them. Also the changes are meaning that their brains are on mega overdrive. This will probably explain why the child is waking and finding the experience so upsetting. Like night terrors when the REM cycle of sleep is effected it causes the child to get upset, in night terrors it is the subconscious that is effect hence the child doesnt wake up but maybe it is the the conscious side of your los that is being effected. Ok I know Im sounding like Im just waffling on lol but I know what I mean. maybe you could treat the situation simialr to that of a night terror. break the cycle by gentle going into the room 10 mins before the episode would usuallt start, maybe tuck them in stroke their forehead, enough to disturb them but not wake them properly. Maybe it is worth trying for a couple of nights. Other than that plenty of reassurance.

Sam I would not worry about picking him up, you can tell when a lo is upset and when they are seaking attention. Sometimes those cuddles for a few nights are enough to reassure them and have them settling better at bedtime.

Posted: 06 August 2006 at 7:08pm | IP Logged

Hey Sam,

It's me - your crazy mother of 6 sister in law!  Joey did exactly the same thing as Ollie at about his age.  We used to give him a drink or a cuddle and reassure him before putting him back to bed.  Sometimes he'd go straight off, other times he'd cry but eventually he'd go back to sleep.  I think that whatever triggers this behavior, can eventually become a habbit and hard to break but we perservered and after a few months,(it took a while), he grew out of it.  I was worried at the time, but in retrespect, it wasn't anything that lots of babies do and you just need to have patience and know that he will outgrow it in the end.  It's hard for you as a parent to decide what to do when they seem so upset but sounds like you are doing the right thing.   Joey quite often still gets into a cycle of waking up in the night and crying out for us for a few weeks, and he's almost 4 now.  I don't remember my girls doing this quite so much and I noticed it much more with Joey.  As long as he gets plenty of reassurance and love, he's fine.  Give Ollie a big kiss from his Auntie and I hope you get through this soon.

Em

x

Posted: 06 August 2006 at 7:37pm | IP Logged

Hi

Well that would be typical that's it's the men in the family causing sleepless nights.  I can cope with the middle of the night waking and have even become used to this but it's the evening waking after an hour I find the hardest.  Did Joey do this too??  I think I find that time the hardest as I am tired after work and need an hours quiet time.

Anyway touch wood (no pun intended) think I might have conquered the evening waking with Classical FM and new submarine lights.  Well it's working so far anyway