Parenting Forums

Posted: 18 September 2006 at 8:05pm | IP Logged

I've spoken to my fil since separating from my husband, but that was about a month ago now.  It was an emotional phone call: one that he initiated and it ended that we would always be on good terms with one another and that I'm still part of their family although their son and I are no longer together.  I've yet to speak to my mil-she was just too distraught by the split, apparently.   In fact, my fil is a huge 6ft 4 giant of a man who had to terminate the call because he was crying too much.

Anyway, I've not contacted them since as a) I've had alot to sort out and b) I wanted time out from any further emotional stress.

But as I say it's been a month and I've been thinking about contacting them again.  I did promise them updates on the boys and plan to fulfil my promise.  I have an amicable relationship with their son and they adore their grandsons, of course, but I'm unsure how to open contact now that it's just me.  I think I'm just in a fragile state and rational thought has escaped me again!!

This made be a silly question, afterall I've known them 9 years and have always had a loving relationship with them, but do I carry on the same or should I approach them from a whole different angle? 

Posted: 18 September 2006 at 8:18pm | IP Logged

treat them the same as that'll be most normal for the boys

i'm sure they'd love a short phone call and a promise of a visit

Posted: 18 September 2006 at 8:27pm | IP Logged

I think its best to keep things as normal as you possibly can for ur own sake as well as the boys

Wen i was with ex we always went to his mums every saturday & that still remains now cause i think its good for Ryan to see his family & also i think its better for his 3 cousins who visit on a saturday if we dont make a big deal of the break up

Im sure they will understand that uv been busy & emotional over the last month but a quick fonecall to update them on the boys cant do any harm & if it turns into a full conversation thats a good thing but if u set urself up to just tackle a short call & see how u feel u havent lost anything

Posted: 18 September 2006 at 8:34pm | IP Logged

All the above advice makes sense. 

Subjects out of bounds: me on anti-depressants

Subjects in bounds: the boys

Subjects in the middle bounds (lol): brett and I

Think I'd rather email first and take it from there.  I hope to visit them in the future as they live in sunny Tenerife!

Thanks for the advice.

Posted: 18 September 2006 at 9:27pm | IP Logged

I'd definatly keep it 'normal', maybe send them a quick email to say you'd ring them tmrw at such and such a time and email a pic of the boys over... might help to break the ice, and they can expect your call.

I bet they are thinking the same as you, because it's proberbly hard on them also, I bet they are longing to hear from you to see how you and the boys are getting along.

good luck, chin up