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Posted: 19 October 2006 at 9:03pm | IP Logged

You know what im sitting here even crying at how all you girls are being so nice to me....why can i feel like this now as after i had my first i was so so glowing and never can say i ever felt that good in my life......dont get me wrong i love my 2nd baby so so much and she is so precious as my little man is but i hate feeling nervous about going out as they are both good kids.......i hide my feelings too much and always end up helping other family members ........just last night i had my bro on phone crying about his marriage........and i helped him...

This is just like mad crazy hormones or something in me........

thank you for all being so nice and reading this.....x

Posted: 19 October 2006 at 9:06pm | IP Logged

Hi, and welcome to Madmums!

Just want to echo what everyone else has said and to re-assure you that you are not on your own. I have PND and can totally relate to what you are saying. Without bigging myself up, I've written an article on here about PND which you may find useful. Click HERE.

Please do tell the nursery nurse how you feel, it is hard but I promise you that you've already taken the biggest step by coming on here and saying how you feel. Could you print this thread off and show her?

Hang in there, like has been said it is a illness and its not your fault any more than getting a sore throat is your fault. Please please do let us know how you get on and if you want to chat, either post on here or feel free to PM me or anyone who has posted on here.

Good luck - please let us know how you get on. xxx

PS I'm Hazel by the way! Mum to Ella who's 18 months old

Posted: 19 October 2006 at 9:32pm | IP Logged

Firstly welcome to the site!  I've had 5 kids I had pnd after my first but didn't find out until after the 3rd!  It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.  My hv says because I'm borderline and I have alot of stresses at the moment, just to give her a ring if I need something.  If you are lucky you will get a supportive hv (or nursery nurse).  Make the most of it, it's better to sort it out now than have to deal with it much later on.  Hope all goes well in the morning!

I also never get out that much!  I live in the middle of nowhere and my nearest neighbour is 1/2 mile away.  My dh never knows how I'm feeling most of the time, I can come on here any time of the day and night and know that there are others like me, and that is why I love this site.  Since I had my 4th in April 05 the ladies on here have been really supportive.  This is like my 2nd family, I haven't met them all, but would love to one day.  The thing I love is that we have all got someone we can turn to, and someone else has been through whatever your going through and if they haven't you get loads of moral support.

Posted: 19 October 2006 at 10:48pm | IP Logged

hiya hun, im Lea, everyone calls me star on madmums, and i have pnd too.

i have been on prozac (fluoxetine) for months now and let me tell you...its a godsend!

i have 1 son Aaron who is 7 today, and my daughter Libby is 18months old.

i didnt know what was going on with me, i had the "babyblues" after having Aaron and thought that was what i had after i had Libby..nope, it was pnd!

i was a complete madwoman, shouting for no reason, totally out of character for me, my dp found it hard to be around me and didnt know what was going on bless him. i was crying at stupid things like one time i dropped my fork on the floor as i was having my dinner and burst out crying!

dont be scared hun, i went to the docs in the end as i thought i was losing my mind, god, if you look hard enough you might find a post ive written waffling like a loon about how i was feeling! lol.

on a more serious not though hun, i was crying my eyes out as i walked toward the doctors door, and proceeded to cry throughout the whole appointment. she was very sympathetic and listened (not entirely sure if i made any sense mind you) and immediately put me on prozac.

i couldnt go out with my kids either, i felt very isolated as my family live miles away from me, and i didnt have any friends nearby as ive moved 3 times in 3 years....but let me tell you, i feel great now, it took just over a week for my tablets to kick in and i felt like a new woman. now nothing fazes me, i am confident enough to take my kids to the park, swimming, everything i took for granted after my first child.

so please tell her, even if, like suggested, you print out this thread or even sit her down at the pc and let her read it. you'll feel tonnes better just getting it all off your chest, i promise.

let us know how you get on tomorrow hun, pm me anytime you like, we are all here to talk to, madmums is like my cyber family and all the women here are fantastic.

anyway welcome to madmums! and thats my majorly long post done! sorry its sooo long!

take care hun, Star XXX

Posted: 19 October 2006 at 11:36pm | IP Logged

Just wanted to welcome u to the site & say good luck for 2moro

I dont have pnd but as u can see its so common & the ladies have given u some fab advice. I just hope u are able to talk things thru 2moro & i really think u need to try telling ur dp how u feel

Any time u need to chat we'll all be here for u so please dont ever feel like anything u hav to say is silly

Posted: 20 October 2006 at 11:45am | IP Logged

Hi everyone and thank you all so so much.......just put little ones down for there nap.........well i dont know how to feel as talked loads to nursery nurse about my little man and baby girl as he wakes in night and talks to himself for hours and baby has lactose intolerance and also looks like soya intolerance so im having a nightmare with her diet.. we had long chat about kids and i said im not sleepin to good and been tearful and was picking up courage to say more when she said "you dont think you have pnd do you" i didnt know how to answer......and she went on to say i think your doing brillanty with partner working away and babies food troubles......but thinks im bit stressed and i need a bit of time to myself......

Sorry girls i didnt know what to answer and couldnt get more outta my mouth.........maybe i am just stressed out to the limit as had a horrible week as also our dog will be probably put down tommorow - he has gone blind and kept me up every night this week in between babies wakening ....so ive been sleepin on sofa next to him....anyhow will know when partner comes home today and takes him to vet tommorow......

Nursery nurse is coming back same time next friday to see how i am? and what way things are going....

not sure what else to say other than i chickened out in saying any more.......my little man played up loads when she was here so it was hard to concentrate on talking to her.....thanks to you all xx

Posted: 20 October 2006 at 12:06pm | IP Logged

Hun please don't feel bad for not being able to say more to her

You did really well and are doing really well

It can't be easy for you - if you still feel this way nexy week try and explain how you are feeling to the HV

Remember we are all here for you anytime you need us

Take care

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted: 20 October 2006 at 12:49pm | IP Logged

You've got a lot on your plate.  Have a chat with your HV, she wont bite you, shes there not only for the babies, but for you as well.  Mine is lovely and pops in when shes in the area for a brew.  She knows joe is away a lot..and says that I look after everybody else..being support for other people who live round here and are in the same boat..as well as family hassles (and they just take the biscuit) but who looks after me.  So its nice that she can pop round and just let me growl about anything I want to..even if it is about the weather!!

This parenting lark is tough going...as well as everything else that goes on.

Like everyone says, we are all about, and tend to pop in quite often through the day/evening etc.  So if you need a chat/rant/whinge/cry/shout...fill your boots, we all do it and all support each other where we can.