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rachmumof2
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Joined: 07 August 2006

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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 10:26am \| IP Logged

can some one help me please i have a terrible 3 1/2 yr old and i need help hes shouting at me giving me death stairs very naughty wat can i do please help

Rhona
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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 10:58am \| IP Logged

Ooh, tricky one.
thomas has just turned 3 and he shouts at me. To bo honest i tell him i
don't like it and it makes me sad and he stops doing it.
He has never given me a death stare yet but i am sure there will be a
1st time.

Try giving him some time out, we have a naughty corner that seems to
work for thomas.
Or you could just try and ignore him for 5 minutes and then sit him
down and talk to him about it, explaining that it makes you sad.

Sorry, probably not much help

RIN1983
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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 11:07am \| IP Logged

I agree with what Rhona has said, explain to him that you dont like his shouting/raising his voice to you and that it makes you sad, and see if that helps.

We use the time out chair, we have a naughty box, where we take his favourite things away one by one, until hes good and he gradually gets them back.

I can sympathise with you as my four year old is really hard work at the minute with tempers, attitude, shouting, charging round etc.. and its really difficult especially when you haqve other lo's to look after.

I just usually ignore my ds when he gets to the point where i want to thump him, I have too or goodness knows what i'd do. Try ignoring him, but the minute he does something good, no matter how small the 'good' is immediatley praise him for it.

Good luck with him

Lynie
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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 11:16am \| IP Logged

Don't let him see that it upsets you. Stay in control, take a deep breath and in a low, quiet firm voice tell him to stop it because it is rude. Tell him if he shouts or gives you a bad look again he'll have to sit quietly on te bottom step- or in your hall, etc. The key is not to raise your voice- stay calm and quiet. (I know this can be difficult.)

He is probably looking for attention and knows now what buttons to press to wind you up/ upset you. Remember you are the one in control and he may be only 3 but he is old enough to understand no means no and stop means stop.

Good luck. My two are battering lumps out of each other at the moment so I'm away to try my own advice...

rachmumof2
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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 3:29pm \| IP Logged

ty for replying ive tried the naughty corner and it doesnt work so cant do that and i cant do a naughty box cos hes not really interested in his toys hes bored of them but wat do u reckon to me trying the no nick jr till hes good but only trouble with that is that he crys and crys and dont stop till i give in and it gets to me so wot else can i try u r both really gd help ty for replying to me greatly apreciated ty

jopsy
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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 4:08pm \| IP Logged

i'd let him cry if his behaviour is as bad as you say

if you have explained why to him then stick to your guns

otherwise if you give in he knows you are weak!

good luck!

Rhona
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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 4:56pm \| IP Logged

The crying will be for attention becuase he wants you to give in and
give him what he wants.
Ignore the crying - go into another room. He will eventually calm down.
Thomas pushes me to the limit sometimes and i leave him to cry - it's
the only way he will learn that he isn't always going to get what he
wants. It's very hard but it works

Remember - you are in charge and what you say goes.
He will soon learn that you mean what you say if you are consistent.

Good luck.

Vickimom
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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 5:07pm \| IP Logged

I'd say no tv, and let him cry it out in his room out of harms way! Then put your own music on, just keep checking on him from time to time. I found with my eldest, by the time he got to shouting he was too far gone and a smack was needed a couple of times and there ended the situation!

jopsy
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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 5:32pm \| IP Logged

vix most people dont smack these days (isnt it illegal?)

i myself was smacked as a child tho

Lynie
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Posted: 23 October 2006 at 8:47pm \| IP Logged

If he cries until you let in, then he'll know he can cry to get what he wants and will do it time and time again.

Come on- the lad is only 3 and thinks he's the boss. For his good and your sanity you will have to let him know that what you says goes- with no giving in, or mixed messages.

The naughty corner works if you do it consistently. Firmly tell him to sit there, and if he gets up put him back. You must appear to him to mean what you say and be calmly in control.

I personally wouldn't smack- that's a sign you've lost it. But I would threaten with a sore bottom! I have said to my wee boy, in a quiet voice "go and sit on the bottom step, because if you stay here I feel that I may smack your bottom sore- and I don't want to do that." He always complies!

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