Post Natal Depression Forum

Posted: 03 February 2007 at 6:45pm | IP Logged

Lina firstly hugs to u all and secondly ur def not alone in this.

It may be a touch of the baby blues that everybody goes through hunni.  I would speak with ur midwife or health visitor about how you are feeling.  You just have to let it all out and not pretend to them how you are really feeling.  They have seen it all before and it something def not to be ashamed off.  You have done so well just admitting to yourself that your not feeling quite yourself.  Must of taken a lot of corage to write this post.

I have suffered pnd with ellen and it took 6mths to finally admit that something was wrong.  I hide it from my health visitor and family.  When i was diagnosed with pnd i wanted to curl up and hide somewhere as i was soooooo ashamed.  I have now learnt not to be embarrased about it.

Some men dont understand depression john didnt either and just expected me to snap out of it.  Which u cant do.  I still have relapes and ellen is nearly 2.

If you need anything at all just pm i am only to happy to chat if u need to let of steam.  I totally understand where u are coming from so plz plz dont bottle it up.  Go and speak to someone to see if they can help u xxx

Huge huggies xxx

Posted: 03 February 2007 at 8:21pm | IP Logged

Its funny that this was the last topic i imagined that i would post because my depression has been maintained for the last two years it seemed. I just didnt want to see this enemy again, especially when i want to smile at baby not cry. Do you think babys can sense this stuff>>>i hope not.

My mom is the biggest problem im dealing with. im feeling guilty for not letting my parents see kaitlyn but then, yesterday, she had to leave saying mean stuff, like youd rather other people visit than myself. I dont have to come over ever again. She was still raging on and on while my father was pushing her out of my room. Then i truly wonder, did she ever have a baby?? She never got along with my dh, so he couldnt step in to tell her anything. She started saying how he gives her dirty looks and she was crying and complaining to my cousin about all this yesterday to make me feel even worse. This is a great battle with her and me it seems. She got depression even worse than me and she doesnt even take her medications..thats why i feel sorry for her and then i end up feeling even worse for myself. She is a great manipulator..and i hate it!! she is a controller as well.

sorry for the venting...i feel better today since no visitors..but just felt bad to tell my father to not come over again....again, i wish they can see and not ask, thatll be easier on me. 

Posted: 03 February 2007 at 8:31pm | IP Logged

I think that at the moment your baby is just soothed by your presence. They can pick up vibes, but she's not going to come to any harm by your being depressed. You feed, cuddle, hold, love and care for her, and that's all she needs to know right now. If you've been battling with this thing for the last two years, then it's even more important that you get yourself to the doctor to get the help you need.

If no visitors at the moment is what you can cope with, then that's what you do and you mustn't feel bad about it. I think you're doing the best thing by keeping out of your mum's way by the sound of it. Maybe you could call your dad and explain to him that you just can't cope with seeing anyone right now, and that it's nothing personal.

Rant away!

More hugs!

Rachel xxx

Posted: 03 February 2007 at 8:51pm | IP Logged

I guess i stll have to build my communication skills w my parents so thats another step..i better explain to them how i feel i suppose. hmmm...thatll be some time.

Posted: 03 February 2007 at 9:27pm | IP Logged

aww sorry to hear things are not going well with your mum.  My mum suffers with depression and it was this time last year i had a massive falling out with my mum.  I admitted to her i had pnd and she fobbed it off and said some truely awful things.  I was in shock becuase she suffers with a similar condition.

I hope u do ease things with ur mum.

Remember if you need anything a friendly ear or someone to rant at just give me a yell as it so hard to deal with parents. 

I also told my mum when ellen was born we wanted the first week with her to ourselfs that didnt go too well either xxx

Posted: 04 February 2007 at 10:14am | IP Logged

Aww hun, I dont know what I can add to this which other people have not said.  You're not alone and you've made a huge step coming on here and saying how you feel.  I suffered with PND after my first but I never admitted I had a problem.  I went months in silence, felt so alone.

You need to speak to your halth visitor or midwife (however it works in the US), discuss with her how you're feeling and hopefully you can get get ontop of your problems before they get any worse.  With any luck this is just a case of baby blues and you'll be feeling better real soon. 

I'm sure you'll work things out with your mum too, let her calm down a little then explain you were having a bad day and that you didn't mean to take it out on her.  Being a mum herself she will understand and I'm sure you'll work things out.

We're all here for you hun if you want to rant or just chat.  It will get easier and you will start to feel better and begin to enjoy every precious moment with your baby.  Big Hugs hun xxx

Posted: 04 February 2007 at 10:26am | IP Logged

This may sound daft but could you write your mum a letter explaining how you are feeling. It might be easier than talking face to face and sometimes its easier to explain things that way so she may have a better understanding of how you feel.

The most important thing is not to let the problems with your mum become your main thought, it will sort its self out in time but in the mean time just enjoy being with your new little family!

Hugs xxx

Posted: 04 February 2007 at 6:06pm | IP Logged

you are definately correct madz...i shouldnt make my guilt take control of my thoughts. Im in the stage to learn to let go. Losing sleep doesnt help as well and i know to make it easier on my body, i need to sleep as much as i can. i wake so easily every chance i can sleep.

Today im not crying state..i feel that i want to give up. my dh has been working for 12 hrs this whole weekend and i dont want visitors so i cant get help cause i rejected all of them. im so tired but then i want to do it all for myself...sounds aweful!!

Posted: 04 February 2007 at 8:23pm | IP Logged

Oh Lina! I'm so sorry to hear this! You were so excited about your new baby, its a terrible thing to be going through. I didn't get pnd until Ben was about 4 months old, and didn't start getting proper help until he was about 10 months old. But I understand when you say that you're not enjoying her, thats what made me start seeking help. I know its hard but you need to try and shut out all the 'well meaning' advice (I got LOADS of that! Not easy when its your first baby!) If this means not seeing visitors for a while, then so be it! You need to try and focus on your new little girl, bonding with her and enjoying her, to try and refocus your mind and feelings on her. You are a great mum, and at the moment you are all she needs. To her you are the most important person in the world, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

You also need help to cope with this, before it escalates. See your doc or midwife or health visitor and tell them how you feel, try to be as honest as you can. With early detection and the proper help, you may not even need meds, but if you do it doesn't make you a lesser mum! Remember we're all here for you too!

Take care and hope things get better soon xxxx

Posted: 04 February 2007 at 11:26pm | IP Logged

I didnt have PND, just a touch of the baby blues with both of mine.  With tasja I knew that I loved her...i just didnt need her..if that makes sense.  I kind of felt very lonely, i missed my little alien that id been chatting to for months, so felt very empty..that and not having a clue with what to do with a baby didnt help.  After a few weeks, I dont know how it happend, but i woke up one day and realised that I needed her as much as she needed me.

With Isla, it was a hard pg, joe was away a lot, I had tasja running round like a nutter, wed just moved up here to stafford, so being isolated to begin with didnt help.  I had lots of help when she was born, a few visitors, but i can be very blunt with people, if i say im busy then im busy end of.  Joe went away again, very soon after she was born, so it was a case of sink or swim.  I loved and needed isla more or less straight away, it was doing it all by myself or in fits and starts whenever joe was home that made it hard.  We got there in the end though lol.  Isla is 4 this year..dont ask me if shell make it to being 4 little madam..and tasja is 8 on thursday eeek.