Joined: 11 January 2008 United Kingdom Posts: 586 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 April 2008 at 1:45pm | IP Logged
Well I feel like a total twat, a failure so to speak. I am sat here, sobbing so hard it hurts. Rob has just taken Brandon for the 1st time in nearly 2 weeks, also for the 1st time since I found out about his affair & although I put on a brave front, he could see I was on the verge of tears. He asked how my stomach was n stuff as though he is soooooooooo F****** bothered!! Im so hurt & confused & angry, I just wish I had some1 to hug me n tell me everything will b ok......I didnt want to get into a state but this hurt & pain is almost more than I can bear I no it makes me sound like a bad parent but even the strain of lookin after brandon and seein robs face in his is almost more than I can cope with some days, I just dont no what to do with myself.
Joined: 29 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 2367 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 April 2008 at 1:59pm | IP Logged
awww no im so sorry to hear your feeling like this,you seemed to have been copign quite well but i have to say it is totally normal for you to be feeling this way and it does not make you a bad parent,you have feelings aswell,it will get easier,do you have anyone you can go to for support,a brew and a cry?? sorry i cant be of more use,thinking of you,chin up xxx
Joined: 11 January 2008 United Kingdom Posts: 586 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 April 2008 at 2:03pm | IP Logged
sadly no1. My best friend lives 178 miles away, my dad has no sympathy as thinks I shoulda split wit rob yrs ago & mum is too wrapped up & busy with her own problems. I just feel so ashamed, I want my lil boy at home just to hold n i dnt no wat to do
Joined: 24 October 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 4564 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 April 2008 at 3:04pm | IP Logged
I can't imagine how hard it must be for you having to see your ex with all the rawness still there.
I'm so sorry that there is no-one to come round and give you a massive hug, wish we all could decend on your doorstep.
You aren't a failure hun, you are just grieving for your lost relationship, having to cope with a wee one and being pregnant all of this by yourself. Have a good cry and then have some choccie and a cuppa.
Joined: 24 April 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 1932 Gender: Female
Posted: 17 April 2008 at 12:09pm | IP Logged
You are not a failure, doll, he is the one who has failed - in being a faithful partner, and treating you with the respect you deserve. Am so sorry I don't live closer to you - but if you need an ear I am here. I hope you're feeling a wee bit better today. It is really hard for you - I had to see my ex-husband every other day for about a year as he came to collect the girls - and it was so hard. Ruthie was the spitting image of her dad at that stage - and I understand how hard it must be with wee Brandon looking like him, but that will get easier. You've done so well so far - it's natural you will have days where you find this harder to deal with - and that would be the case for anyone, nevermind you being pg too. Keep your chin up - you'll soon have two gorgeous boys there with you for cuddles!
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Topic: what an idiot!
I no it makes me sound like a bad parent but even the strain of lookin after brandon and seein robs face in his is almost more than I can cope with some days, I just dont no what to do with myself.
You are not a failure, doll, he is the one who has failed - in being a faithful partner, and treating you with the respect you deserve. Am so sorry I don't live closer to you - but if you need an ear I am here. I hope you're feeling a wee bit better today. It is really hard for you - I had to see my ex-husband every other day for about a year as he came to collect the girls - and it was so hard. Ruthie was the spitting image of her dad at that stage - and I understand how hard it must be with wee Brandon looking like him, but that will get easier. You've done so well so far - it's natural you will have days where you find this harder to deal with - and that would be the case for anyone, nevermind you being pg too. Keep your chin up - you'll soon have two gorgeous boys there with you for cuddles! 