Pregnancy Forums

Posted: 19 September 2007 at 9:17am | IP Logged

What was the deciding factor when it came to you and your partner having another child ?????

Rachel is almost 2 and for us we would really like to give her a brother or sister.

I would like another baby because for me it would complete my family.

The only thing is I know how much hard work babies can be and can be much harder having a 2 year old running around.

I keep going back and fort (for the last 6 months now).

For me I do feel the time is right but I have this voice in the back of my head telling me that I won't cope.

My reasoning is that it takes 9 months to have a baby so rachel will be 9 months older and have more understanding, plus she is my only child at the moment so I seem to bow down to her every whim which would not happen if there was a new baby there.

I know this is a bit of a pointless post as untimately it is my and dh's decision, I just needed to talk to a few friends.....

Posted: 19 September 2007 at 9:46am | IP Logged

Sorry hunny, not much help as I'm having the same problem. Ben's 3 now and we had decided to start ttc no 2 after my birthay (I'm going on a spa wkend with my mum and sis and didn't want to be pg for that!) I was ready and could cope. But now dh has found out that he's going away again for 4 mths and we have decided to wait until he gets back, that way he won't miss anything, and I won't be on my own with a 3 yr old and pg! However this could mean waiting 12 mths or longer as he might not get back til Oct next year if he doesn't go til June! And if I'm as tired as I was after loooking after Ben last time he went away it could be ages! I'm 'due' on early menopause thanks to my chemo and am terrified that now I've decided I would like another baby, its gonna be too late. Anyway thats a different subject.

As you said its up toyou and dh. I don't think you can ever be 100% ready for no 2 but its a very personal choice.

Posted: 19 September 2007 at 10:07am | IP Logged

The other thing  I never mentioned is I will be 30 this year !!!!! Dh will be 32.

I know you have heard it all before Sam but I really wish it happens for you.

Posted: 19 September 2007 at 11:14am | IP Logged

i would love another baby,up until recently i havent felt too bothered,i think it was because i want happy with dp and knew it would make things harder but now im on my own i would love to have another one,for allsorts of reasons,bronia would be such a good big sister,she adores babies and has so much love to give,and also i think i could cope better and enjoy it more alone but obviously the point is,that i am alone and no matter hw i try justify it i know i shouldnt use sean for another baby when i am a single mother and not in full time employment and therefore cannot provide fully for my child. i know how people would judge me and i know that if i did struggle alone bronia may pay for this.

i hope you can come to a decision that is best for you all xx

Posted: 19 September 2007 at 11:36am | IP Logged

With my eldest we were told we would never be able to have children. We came off birth control...so it was on record with the NHS. The following month I was pregnant. Stupid NHS never confirmed it until I ws 5 months as it was not possible.

With my second it took 3 years ofuntil I was pregnant again. I wasn't probably ready straight after the birth but we knew we had to "use it or lose it"

With my 3rd we waited 6 months before trying and what do you know I fell straight away.

I suppose what I am trying to say is don't think about it to much. You want another child...you are a loving family, so you will cope. No time is the complete right time.....

Good Luck...don't panic you will be a fabby mother of 2