Parenting Forums

Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:17pm | IP Logged

hiya all.

ive recently given up breast feeding (apart from a night feed) because of a massive amount of medication im on. My gp and hv said it was ok to continue but i didnt want to risk harming fiona.

trouble is now i feel really guilty i havent given her the best and given up. ive been breast feeding for 5 1/2 months which i know is good going but i cant help but feel awful about it, i cant get it out of my mind. i did try and start again but i simply cant get the same amount of milk back, fiona isnt satisfied like she used to be which is making me feel worse. im suffering from pnd which isnt helping.

anyone else been in these shoes?

dont wish to drag in sympathy but need to know how other people delt with it.

jenny x

Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:30pm | IP Logged

Hi Jenny

Firstly, welcome to the site, I'm Rachel, mum to three boys, Ethan (7), Noah (4) and Joe (3).

Secondly - well done for feeding for as long as you have, that is a fantastic achievement, and you mustn't downplay that. You have done a brilliant job getting as far as that. Deciding to stop isn't always an easy choice to make, and with all the other circumstances, you have to go with what is right for you, a mum who is happy with her decision is going to be a happier mum than one who is doing things that she doesn't want to. PND is an extra spanner in the works and, as you rightly say, I'm sure that will be a big factor in your guilty feelings. Please believe me when I say that you have done nothing at all to feel guilty about.

If you're certain that your medication is safe to breastfeed with, and you still do have some milk supply, then what about doing a combination of breast and bottle for a while? It is possible to build up your milk supply again, though it might take a little while. Your milk comes on a supply and demand basis, so if you feed Fiona, and let her go on suckling after you think she's taken what there is, this will stimulate your body to produce more. You could then always top her up with a bottle after this to make sure she's getting enough in the meantime. Don't forget that she isn't far off the age when she might need to start some solids, so that may be another reason why she doesn't seem satisfied.

Are you getting help with your PND? This site offers a buddy scheme for one-to-one advice and support on the topics of both PND and breastfeeding, if you felt it might be useful to chat through these things. Click on the link at the bottom of my post.

Good luck, Rachel x

Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:37pm | IP Logged

thanx for the advice, im on antidepressents and starting at a help group next week that my hv refered me to. been on the tablets for 6 weeks now i thought id feel a bit better by now. my doc did increase my dose but its done very little.

i know i shouldnt feel bad about giving up, jusat cant help it xx

Posted: 16 May 2007 at 10:34pm | IP Logged

Aww you have done so well don't beat yourself up about it. I only managed 3 weeks and that was mixed with bottle feeds.

You are a fantastic mum and shouldn't feel guilty.

I'm here if you need to chat. xxxxx

Posted: 16 May 2007 at 10:46pm | IP Logged

You have done SO WELL!

I know at the moment nothing I say will take away your 'guilt' but there is nothing to feel guilty for. Look at your post "My gp and hv said it was ok to continue but i didnt want to risk harming fiona." Does that sound like the words of a mother who doesnt do the best by her child? NO! You have done an amazing thing in giving her a fantastic start in life and you have done the best thing by her by giving up something you didnt feel ready to do when you thought it was best for her.

I gave up feeding my son at 11 months as he self weaned but I'd already dropped to just night feeds because of painkillers I was permently on. It was a difficult decision but I had to do it for me and my son.

You can keep up the night feed which will keep the bond there and your special time. She'll be eating solids soon and will need very little milk through the day anyway and she's still getting your anti bodies through her evening feed.

Make sure you look after yourself and if you are worried about the medication see your gp. It can take a while to find the right dose but you'll get there. And we'll all be here to help you through it when you want us!

Posted: 18 May 2007 at 9:15pm | IP Logged

thanx guys again for your kind words, im trying so hard to look forward and be proud of wat ive done. im gonna see my h.v next week and talk to her about it all too. i cant seem to shake this one away. im too impatient i guess. lol

thanx again

jenny xx

Posted: 19 May 2007 at 4:09pm | IP Logged

I agree with others, you've done a brill job and should be proud. You HAVE given your lo the best start in life, and soon she will be needing more than just milk. Is time to concentrate on your health now. I'm one to talk though! I was precribed anti-d's for pnd when Ben was about 8 months, but refused to take them, even though the risk to Ben was minimum, especially since he was on solids by then (although still feeding quite regularly). I exclusively fed him until 5 1/2 months old, and only stopped feeding him altogether last Jan! My hv convinced me to drop some of hisfeeds to help with my pnd, as I felt all I was ding was feeding Ben, day and night. It was very hard, but it DID help quite a bit! I still miss bfeeding Ben, but I have a wonderful little boy, and can be proud of what I did in his first years of life!

Talk to your hv, although hopefully she will not be one of the less supportive ones who try and convince you to stop for all the wrong reasons. Do you know of any bf counsellors you could talk things through with too?

Posted: 19 May 2007 at 7:26pm | IP Logged

hiya hun, thanks for the advice

i have been through it all with my hv and she is great, when i felt low when fiona was tiny i did see my midwife who was very supportive about b.feeding and encoursged me on but also said that its not worth continuing if its making me feel so low, im glad i did carry on. i feel like its taking over my life now, my milk has totally dried up, i cant seem to restart it at all, i asked another hv for advice but she said stress has stopped it which makes me feel worse cos my body has failed too aswell as my mind. the sooner i start the pnd counciling group the better i think.

thanks again for your kind words, they are helping xx