Health Forums

Posted: 23 May 2007 at 10:25pm | IP Logged

Hello all

I have stumbled across this site when I was looking for advice on PND tonight.

I hope someone might be any to offer any words of advice for a new girl?

I think I may have PND. I have a daughter who is nearly 3 and a son who is just 7 months. I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed since my son arrived (and a bit before to be honest). The midwife who visited just after he was born picked up how weepy I was and suggested I talk to the HV. For some reason I really made the effort at every HV visit to look cheerful and in control. I don't know why? The last visit I had I actually ended up bursting into tears and she did a questionnaire thing and suggested she come and visit me weekly and perhaps I could also go and see the GP.

Anyway, I don't know why again but I cancelled her visits and have just been trying to get on with things since and some days I feel absolutely fine.

Now though, I've found that I have more bad days than good in that the stuff I used to look forward to doing with the kids don't seem to made me feel happy anymore, I'm so irritable and snapping and hubbie, my girl (a lot!) and even at the baby if he wont sleep in the evening.

He used to sleep well but now he refuses to sleep and just cries and cries unless I hold him and I can feel myself getting madder and madder until I end up crying all night or shouting at him.

I feel so guilty like I'm making my children miserable.

Mornings I wake up and it the day fills me with dread and I count the hours til I can put them both back to bed again and snatch a little bit of time for me.

I don't really have any help cos hubbie works two jobs (evenings and days) and my family live quite far away.

I'm going on and on aren't I but wondered if anyone thinks it is PND that I've got or just how everyone feels?

I've booked a GP appointment for next week today. Feel as though I've got to face up to this for everyone's sake but I'm so nervous and have absolutely no idea how I'll explain all this to her in a doctors appointment.

I've tried talking to hubbie but he says I'm just tired or if I start crying he says "what are you crying now for?".

Guess I needed to offload a little and thought someone out there might understand?

Love
G
xxx

Posted: 23 May 2007 at 10:39pm | IP Logged

What you describe certainly sounds like it could be PND.  If left untreated it can get worse as you feel more and more is getting on top of you.  It's nothing to be worried about and hopefully your gp can help you.  You may need to take some anti-depressants for a while to help you but don't worry they are fine and hopefully will not give you any side affects.  It's hard work being a mum at the best of times and when you have to do most of it on your own it's exhausting.  Men don't understand my partner used to say to me why are you crying all the time?  Like it was something I could stop, most of the time I didn't know why I was crying either other than I felt really unhappy.

I used to find getting out of the house at least once a day helped, just to get some fresh air and let the kids run off some steam even if it was a walk around the block.

The good thing about PND if there is a good thing is it's very treatable and doesn't last forever.  In time you will feel better and you won't have done any damage to your children in the meantime.

Welcome to Madmums I hope you enjoy it here.  If you want one to one support you can always try our buddy scheme which will put you in touch with another Mum that has suffered from PND too.

Posted: 23 May 2007 at 10:40pm | IP Logged

aww welcome to madmums hun,

The gp is the best idea here, it does sound like PND...I too suffer from it and i am so irritable at times, every slight thing winds me up, i snapped at hubby the other day coz he was eating near me and i hate the sound of eating!

I think you have done a fantastic job, admitting it is the hardest part! Now you know you have this issue, and you need to take steps to help yourself. The gp will be able to assess you properly and if necessary prescribe anti depressants.

Men are so insensitive at times, they don't seem to understand what we go through!

I like you count the hours til i can put my 2 back to bed! It sounds harsh, but its hard work having more than 1! I was ok with just one, but when Liam came along our whole world was tipped upside down and shook like a snow globe!

Let us know how you get on with your GP, and feel free to rant and rave as much as you like, it really helps! There are people on this site that are battling PND and some that have came out of the other side! We are all here if you need us

Also we have a buddy scheme if you feel you would like one to one support with someone who knows exactly what you are going through. Just click on the link in my signature at the bottom of my post and send a request in!

Hugs

Sam xxx

Posted: 24 May 2007 at 9:06am | IP Logged

hi georgie and welcome to madmums,

as the other girls have said youve admitted it and that is a hard step to take,you dont have to pretend you are okay,or be embarrased or anything,it is more common than you think and it is understood more nowadays,therefore there are treatments etc to help you and your gp will have seen women in your posistion a million times so dont be ashamed to admit your having a hard time,be totally honest with your feelings,it doesnt make you a bad mum or a bad person.

we will all be here to support you. pls let us know how you get on.

tc xxxx lauren xxxx

Posted: 24 May 2007 at 1:18pm | IP Logged

Hiya Georgie..

Congratulations on taking the first step hun, actually making the appointment can be just as daunting as going.. If it helps, keep a diary for a few days or right down everything you're feeling (even print off a copy of your post here) and take it with you to the doctor.. sometimes it can actually help you to keep a diary as you can share your innermost thoughts without thinking about being judged or feeling like a failure, or even feeling guilty for having the feelings!!  (that certainly how I felt at times) One of the symtoms of depression itself is the difficulty in speaking to people, as well as avoiding social occassions or places that you would be likely to bump  into someone.  I truly understand what your are going through and as your GP will have seen many, many cases of it hun, he should  be very understanding.  It is, after all an illness hun. 

As you've probably gathered, I've suffered for over 5yrs now and it's really only in the last six months that I've started to ome out the other end.  It'll take time but you'll get there too hun and we'll all be here every step of the way.. 

Please keep your doctors appointment as that's the first step to your getting better - it won't happen right away, but it will happen and then you'll be able to enjoy your little and life so much better.  As far as your hubby is concerned, again, write him a letter, show him the post - anything to open his eyes!! you will need his support to get through this too hun so he needs to wake up and 'smell the roses' so to speak.  Does he really, really, need to work 2 jobs hun? baring in mind that things like tax credits etc (in fact, working 2 jobs might make him ineligable for working tax credit - taking him over the limit, but by cutting one he might then qualify so you might not even lose any money!!). 

I'll let you go now hun, but please, if you want to talk, anytime - just get in touch (I'm on the 'buddy' scheme too, so you can just click on the link and someone'll get in touch)

Take care & well done for confiding in us, I know it wouldn't have been easy, but that's what friends are for!!

Jen

Posted: 25 May 2007 at 1:39pm | IP Logged

Thank you so so so much for your lovely replies.

It means so much and I reckon this place could be my little life line!

Yesterday I felt fine but today I've gone down again.

I took my daughter to nursery this morning but when I came back hubbie was getting ready to go out to work.  He'd managed to walk muck all over the floor that I'd cleaned yesterday, spilt milk on the floor, the kitchen was a bomb site.  (this is nothing new!).  So I asked if he'd try not to make such a mess and he actually laughed at me.  Queue tears.  He then said "now why are you crying again, don't be so touchy".  ARGH!!  I told him that I'd made a doctors appointment for next week and asked if he'd keep the kids for a bit (it's in the morning) before he goes to work so I can go and he sighed and huffed and puffed and said "you'll only be half an hour won't you?".

I think I need to find a way of making him understand things.  Maybe print this out?

I've no hope if he doesn't get it.

I think the idea of a diary is a really good one.  On good days like yesterday I can't imagine the miserable days and feel like cancelling my appointment cos I'm better.  Silly isn't it?

Anyway thank you again for your support.  You'll never know how much better I feel for finding ya!

G

xxxxx

Posted: 02 June 2007 at 4:04pm | IP Logged

Hi Georgie,

I was just thinking about you and wondering if you wnet to the docs? if so, how did it go hun? did it help?

Please keep in touch, we're all here for you hun and we truly understand what you're going through.  Just take each day one at a time and tomorrow will look after itself..

Jen