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Posted: 03 December 2006 at 10:06pm | IP Logged

Well, I'm at the take a tablet 1 day, don't take one the next day stage now. I feel OK over all and am now realising that there are some characteristics that I think are just going to be part of my life now that maybe I've not acknowledged before.

I think that the anxiety and panic side of me is now me and I need to not be so hard on myself. For example, a few weeks ago I was due to go on a works night out, but just couldn't face going. I don't know why really, I don't know what I was scared of but I beat myself up over not going, which was stupid. So what if I don't go? The world won't end and my collegues will think no less of me, so whats the issue? I'm my own worst enemy sometimes.

I'm going to stay at one on and one off for at least another week and then will think about going to one on, two off. I do feel much much much better than I did and know that I'm definatly on the right track now, but at the same time, I've also had to acknowledge that I do have some underlying issues that need addressing that are more connected to normal depression rather than PND. I've been diagnosed as depressed on 2 other occassions, and I suspect that I've been depressed to a lesser degree on others. I am going to see the doctor, probably next week for a chat about things over all and also for me to ask him about the long term prospects for managing my SAD and my tendenacies for depression.

So I am coming out the other side now. Its not over yet, and I don't think it will fully stop once the tablets stop, but I'm getting there - all be it a long process.

Posted: 03 December 2006 at 10:30pm | IP Logged

well

you made it to rainy devon with ella

you seemed perfectly normal-to me!

i think youre just lovely, funny and kind

lovely seeing you again

good luck with the weaning

Posted: 03 December 2006 at 10:34pm | IP Logged

I think it's perfectly normal to dread going on works do's I hate them to be honest and only normally drag myself to the christmas bash, no one ever seems to notice and no one comments on it.  I have always been like that I hate big crowds and I know I am not the only person that feels that way in fact I was speaking to one of the big bosses recently at work about this exact topic and he is the same so it's not just a woman thing either.

You'll get there just take your time there is no rush take your time it doesn't matter.

Posted: 03 December 2006 at 10:43pm | IP Logged

Diz youre doing really well hun, a big inspiration to everyone

You can address your underlying issues by a lot of ways, have you thought about Neuro linguistic programming?  Believe me its helped me cope with a lot of current and recent stuff as well as a lot of things in my own mind.  Its changed the way I look at things, and changed my way of thinking . Okay I do still get the odd bout of low days, but its the way I turn my way of thinking around that I owe to the NLP that brings me out of the way Im feeling quicker and in a more positive way ..

big hugs if you need anything just hollar

luv lilybxxxx