Health Forums

Posted: 21 January 2008 at 4:48pm | IP Logged

It really doesnt take long on the train at all...and I did chuckle at the amount of flooded fields etc...but im alright jack i live on a hill.

Anyway, got there, busting for the loo...and couldnt find any loos at the station..pondered walking it but didnt think my bladder could take it..so got a taxi who got me there really quick.  Went up, I was early and so was the lady before me.  So I got called in at 1 instead of half one lol.

The doc was lovely...your typical old village doddery old bloke...but as sharp as a button ill give him that much.  He started off as hmm obvious time waster...and he went into detail on absolutely everything.  My health check when i first joined up, before i joined up, throughout my time in the raf, my job etc.  Now when I said about the consoles in the bunker he asked me if we were ever given any type of detection thingys to wear...and i said no...and from then on he changed his tune.  He went into great detail over my breastfeeding of the girls and how i found the differences between the two, he was especially interested that with feeding isla i couldnt keep up with her and that it was physically painfull, not on the nipple but all round the sides of the breast.  He asked the dates of six week check and date of discharge..and started frowning.  After that he asked if i was alright if he physically examined me..so I knew what he was after..my right hand side was fine...but the left hand side is screwed..he even scraped under my arm from wrist to armpit..tell me when you cant feel it...so he went hmmm you know you have that for life now dont you..yes doc...right then...he measured up the difference in my arms and said that there has been some differences between the two, but I obviously had a very good surgeon as its not as bad as what it could be...

I had to raise my left arm in front of me as high as i comfortably could, and he stopped me when he could see it start to pull...then made me do it again while he had his hand in my armpit...then made me raise my arm out sideways and stopped me when he saw it pull..then made me do it again while checking in my armpit..then made me try and reach round my back as high as i could with left arm..which wasnt very far...and compared to right arm which can twist up as high as shoulderblades.  So he said to keep doing the exercises to prevent swelling up etc and i wasnt going to get any more movement in it than what i already have.

Then went into the psych stuff...asked why i wasnt sleeping...well..hotflushes all night and 'what ifs' all night.  He asked me to explain and i said that as i get my life sorted, the letters arrive for appointments and all the what ifs come into play, plus every check up ive had since treatment has finished theyve found something else which doesnt help at all.  Am i going to see my girls grow up, are they going to remember me if i dont make it to 10 years, am i going to be in a wheelchair in my 40s, when is it going to come back, where is it going to come back and how much is it going to hurt.  He asked if i had panic attacks or anxiety attacks and i said only where needles are concerned.  He asked if i had seen a gp about my depression and state of mind and i pointed out that there is nothing a gp can give me as one most stuff has hormones in it which is out the window and two..could possibley react with the tamoxifen, so ive just got to suck it up and get on with it, which isnt easy...and yes i did cry...

So was with the doc for 2 hours, and i was pooped by the end of it, walked back to the station lol...got on train and came home.

The guy said he was sorry to have to put me through what he had to but the MOD was asking a lot in his report.  He asked me if i genuinely believed that my job caused it, and I said, I really dont know, but it wouldve been detected if my two medicals had been spaced apart.  Not bothered about the job causing it, well i am, but the biggy is that it couldve been detected if the medicals were at different times.  I said thank you for seeing me, as you do, he shook my hand and wished me all the luck in the world and that he would write his report to the best of his ability...but he pointed out that he is not the decision maker, but the decision is based on his report.....I think by the end of it the doc wanted to make it all go away if that makes sense.

So there we go....just got to wait now and see what the powers that be decide to do.