Joined: 24 October 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 4566 Gender: Female
Posted: 28 November 2007 at 3:21pm | IP Logged
I have been fighting off bad feelings for a few weeks now. Was so determined not to sink this year but the last few days I've been feeling terrible. I go to sleep but wake up around 4 am and just lie there wide awake so all day I'm exhausted. I also feel really paranoid for some stupid reason. Not sure if this is just down to being so tired or not. I have to have my hair nice, make up on etc and normally those things don't bother me at all.
The kids are driving me mad as well. They aren't even being naughty but I'm finding myself snapping at them for the slightest things.
Is there anyway at all to get a hold on this before I have to go and get meds ?
Joined: 27 February 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 2263 Gender: Female
Posted: 28 November 2007 at 3:53pm | IP Logged
Positive mental attitude about everything, i know its not that simple but it does help, and don't look for the negative in everything or you will find it and reinforce these feelings, i try and find at least one thing to make me laugh or at least smile everyday and this helps too.
Joined: 13 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 8832 Gender: Female
Posted: 28 November 2007 at 4:59pm | IP Logged
Have you looked anymore into light therapy? It sounds like SAD to me (although I am not a medical proffesional). I have spoken to hundreds of SAD sufferers and the story sounds familiar. I know lightboxes are expensive but I think its worth looking into. Could you ask everyone to give you money for christmas to buy one?
In the mean time lots of fresh air and maybe some exersize if you can. And lots of fresh fruit and veg.
Its worth seeing your gp to let them know how you are feeling anyway. You dont need to go down the meds line until you feel its what you want.
PM me if you want to chat hun, I have been going through exactly the same as I had to move my lightbox, i am going to get it back out tonight.
Joined: 11 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 6098 Gender: Female
Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:09pm | IP Logged
There are some things that you can do to help yourself but it takes some self discipline which is quite hard to have when you are feeling like pants and just want to curl up into a ball and ignore the world. You can make yourself go out every day for a walk as the exercise and the fresh air are good for you. Try doing something every day that you enjoy don't just do the mundane stuff. Make an effort, cook a nice meal, have a long bath, get a good book that you can read that isn't a weepy one though. If you don't want to go out to the shops join the library and get out there. Join a keep fit class, or go swimming. Anything that involves getting out facing the world and a little exercise as both will make you feel better. Watch what you are eating, don't eat junk or comfort food as they are high in sugar which means you get a low after eating them when the sugar affect wares off. Eat plenty of fruit and veg, try and stear clear of stodgy foods. Whilst the internet can be great company on long nights at home on your own equally it can become adictive and stop you going out and doing other things during the day so get off the pc from time to time. Also keep talking, if you have a close friend or on here make sure you are getting out how you feel. You could try keeping a diary of good and bad days. Sometimes when you are feeling low the bad days seem to outway the gooddays in your head but writing it down clarifies what is going on and gives a better reflection.
Joined: 24 October 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 4566 Gender: Female
Posted: 28 November 2007 at 6:13pm | IP Logged
Thanks, xx.
I'm just sat here crying the now. Feel like the worst Mum in the world today and just wish I could hibernate. I have to go out everyday to take Sophie to nursery so at least I have that. I think it's mainly down to frustration etc as I can't drive and live in a wee village. Christmas is coming and we have 4 bills to pay and still pressies to buy, then I fell guilty as only Andy is bringing in money. We both agreed that I wont work until the wee two are both full time at school and I don't mind being with them, I just feel sorry for them being stuck with me everyday.
Just having a really, really down time lately. If no-one minds, I would like to keep on posting here daily if I can.
Joined: 11 September 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 3072 Gender: Female
Posted: 28 November 2007 at 6:56pm | IP Logged
Hun i don't mind, post as frequently as you need to... have you thought about helping out at the local school during the time your kids are at nursery or at the nursery but in a different area away from the kids, differnet age group in the kithen etc or just use that time to go swimming etc like the others have said, treating yourself to a coffee at a cafe somewhere on the way.
You're not the worst mum in the world hun we all feel like it from time to time, your doing fine and as long as you keep plodding along coping in anyway you can it's a start, speak to madz about the light box and try it i know some places give you a 30day home trial before you have to buy ( i think so any way!) and do the self help bits and bobs mentioned by MumSam and you'll get there go tell your gp you feel pants, if anything it might help talking to another person face to face, if this works have you thought about councelling and not meds?
It's not going to be easy but then again nothing is..... good luck hun we're all here for you x
Joined: 06 September 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 545 Gender: Female
Posted: 29 November 2007 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
Hazel, your not on your own babe, I could quite easily posted exactly the same as you. Its quite scary really. It was 4.16 am this morning, 6am yesterday, 5.03 day before I could go on for the last 2 weeks! I wake up and can not drop back off, so by lunch time I m ready to sleep on a chickens lip. Finding it really hard to stay awake at work and the days I m at home I have to set my mbl to go off at 3 incase I fall asleep and miss picking kids up! The kids will tell you if I had a bad nights sleep, because I growl like an old bear. I don't think its even related to darker nights as I was having problems over the summer too. I even went to the doctors and asked them to do blood tests coz I felt sooooo rough. I was convinced there was something medically wrong but no according to them I m fine. Its just I dont feel fine. I had pnd after my boys were born, and docs put me on tablets for it, but I really dont want to go down that road again as it only masked my problem, it didn t cure it.
Some days I just want to pull the duvet over my head and stay there. But I cant. I have to carry on and sort the kids out sort the house and dogs out etc.....Mother doesnt really understand how I feel and I dont really have any one living close to me who has been through depression. Mil is even worse! she told me last time to pull my socks up and buck my ideas up!! like how helpfull is that?
Being on my own doesnt help the situation. My ex is a chocolate teapot and cant be bothered with his own kids. I asked him if he would have them for a couple of hours last Saturday..."can't I'm off to the pub to watch the rugby" I really needed some me time, but there you go.
I m sorry if I have made you feel worse, But I just wanted to let you know your not on your own! If you want to pm me feel free, and we can put the world to rights.
Joined: 11 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 8765 Gender: Female
Posted: 29 November 2007 at 12:54pm | IP Logged
Wow, that sounds so like me with the older ones. Living in the middle of nowhere(even a village rather than a town) is difficult to adjust too! I really do sympathise with you, I used to be very much snapping at the older ones when they were small. Gettting my licence really opened doors for me. I'm starting to struggle now, as we have just got a mortgage, and it's a humdinger, and we still haven't bought alot of the christmas pressies, so I'm not sure what's happening. Keeping a diary, whether on here, or in private really does help you get your feelings in order, and I'm finding just going out to give corn to the chickens I am getting outside a little more each day! I'm thinking of going up to get the older ones from the top gate today just to get the little ones out of the house!
Joined: 24 October 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 4566 Gender: Female
Posted: 29 November 2007 at 2:48pm | IP Logged
Oh boy, I feel a wee bit better today but not much. Really didn't want to get up today at all as I know it's just another day of drudgery. Then I stopped and thought, at least I woke up, at least my kids woke up healthy and happy.
I have to get my provisional licence as soon as I can, even thinking of asking hubby to buy it for me as my Xmas present.
I know I'm not the only one feeling this way but sometimes it really does feel like I am all alone in the world.
Joined: 24 April 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 1937 Gender: Female
Posted: 29 November 2007 at 2:56pm | IP Logged
You're definitely not, Hazy. Glad you're feeling wee bit better today. I've actually been feeling 'off' myself for the last couple of weeks, you put into words how I'm feeling at mo in your post, and it's getting worse. My insomnia is back with a vengance. It reminds me a bit of how I felt when I had PND after Cameron. Will see how I go!
Does help to keep talking though. Am here too, if you need to chat.
Jain, hope you're feeling ok. Here's a hug for you too lol
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Topic: Feel like I'm slipping
