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Posted: 25 July 2008 at 8:29pm | IP Logged

I've been trying not to post this and deal with my problems but I've just hit the stop sign tonight.

I have previously mentioned DD behavioural problems re biting/ throwing all sorts and clambering up cupboards. Well I did something practical and spoke to nursery about 6 weeks back. Her behaviour there is fine to almost perfect. However they've referred us to a positive parenting course which we have done an induction for and to be honest her behaviour has lessened in its frequency, though we still have bad bouts. The bad behaviour specifically biting was generally directed at DP.

However DP hit rock bottom at the end of June my parents took DD from nursery for us for a night and a day and we visited a mental health crisis team employee at the local hospital. I then spent weeks trying to get DP support. We have respite from DD twice weekly provided by Surestart but re DP he has been re-referred to a consultant he saw previously but the weeks or fortnights in between are so tough. DP suffers with phobias all the time, but usually you generally could not tell, but currently they are changing every few days (it's hard to keep up) and serious affecting his day-to-day life. When he was down at the end of June I could empathise and he said himself I helped him through the depression (but I've been there with depression so it was easier to help). Tonight I feel like crying but I can't, he's been so critical with me today, I told him honestly I cannot understand his phobias and related thoughts but that doesn't mean I don't want to help.

Best go now DDs just got  out of bed.

Posted: 25 July 2008 at 8:50pm | IP Logged

Hunny firstly can I say, please don’t apologise for sharing your tough times…. It sounds like you have a fairly good network around you where help for your dd is concerned. I’m glad your starting to see an improvement in her behaviour, just stay strong and it will hopefully lessen more.

As for your dp, it’s horrifying to hear that you are having to fight to get him help and support. Has he seen the consultant yet? Either way is there anyone that you could call to give them an update….?

Hunny I has to be unbelievably tough to deal with changing phobia’s and the thoughts associated with them and the way they can change him and must make him act. You haven’t done anything wrong and he’s just being over critical because he’s not in the right mind set, hugs hunny he probably doesn’t mean any of it, he knows you love him and would do anything for him deep down.

Hugs hun you know where we are and you can talk to us all anytime xx  

Posted: 25 July 2008 at 10:11pm | IP Logged

Yes he has seen the consultant last Friday but the consultant has now gone off on jolly hols (alright for some eh!) as I tried to phone them today. He does have another appointment in a fortnight as they said it would be a rocky road to return to his usual self but it is frustrating when others including our GP feel he needs additional support but are knocked back at their requests. GP unfortunately isn't the type who will sit and listen, but at least they feel DP needs more support

On a positive note I heard him go out while I was putting DD to bed again and he has come back from the late shop with some things for supper which he is now preparing for me by way of apology for his mood today.

Posted: 25 July 2008 at 10:17pm | IP Logged

Awww bless him.... it must be so hard.... doesn't his consultant have a registar or something? It's crazy that you've been left on your own to muddle though....

Hope you have a lovely tea and tomorrow is a bit better day for you both x