Health Forums

Posted: 30 September 2008 at 7:33pm | IP Logged

I am so frustrated at the moment.

I should be happy - so why did I just burst into tears?

I've been coping ok well with the depression and have been ok, have had a good holiday, had my wedding anniversary and have got a lot sorted in the past 2 days.

This morning AF reared her ugly head - argh!

Then my friend who was meant to be keeping me company tonight called to say she was shattered (another friend had a baby last week and she has been back and forth to the hospital) so could she come early and leave early. I asked if she would prefer to stay at home and have an early night and she admitted she would - so of course I said I didnt mind. DH is back down in Dorset on business tonight.

I put Eds to bed (after a fairly successful and unplanned afternoon of potty training) walked into the kitchen and my bottom lip went - next thing I knew I was sobbing. I still dont really know why.

Blooming blasted hormones! Make me a man - please! My life would have been infinitely easier!

Posted: 30 September 2008 at 10:50pm | IP Logged

Madz. You've done a lot in the past few days and tiredness sure has an ugly way of making most feel gloomy.

Plus, I am sure this blooming weather ain't helping you. Even I've noticed how dark its been all day. Spent most of the day with electric lights on, up North West here. Feels like a very mild but wet & glommy winter is on its in way. Let us hope I've got that wrong.

Sometimes I feel sad when I'd expect to be happy but as life goes on I have learned to distance myself from whats expected to just what is acceptable which gives you a bit more scope.

You do a miraculous job with what you cope with and to pinch someone else's cliche. "Just be yourself!"

Don't beat yourself up over what you can't do or because you're not being happy simply because you feel sad. You've a great ability to make others smile and coping in adversity and organisational skills as well as being a great Mum to Eds.

Here's a big hug from me.

Posted: 01 October 2008 at 10:35am | IP Logged

Hey Maddy,

Sometimes it just waits till you've had the best time in ages to rear its ugly depressed head and knock the bottom out of everything good thats happened. I know its hard when your dh is away, almost to easy to let yourself give in to it all. Is there anything you find helps when you get down? I know its hard to do when you're caring for little ones on your own, but I find random acts of selfishness can help. Even if its just your favourite dinner or take away when the kids are asleep.

This might sound like a totally weird question, but do you have a pet(cat or dog), or possibly one you can commandeer for a few hours? They can be great mood lifters when you're feelin down. My furry baby is indespensible.

Just remember(this is always the bit I can't manage myself when I'm havin a blue day), there's better to come. You're only given in this life what you can deal with, even though you can't see it at the time. Showing you can come out the other side shows people in your life, who are too afraid to help themselves, that it can be done and whats on the other side is 100 times better than before. You're a better mum, friend and wife for your compassion and understanding from going through such hardships in your own life.

Feel better soon, you're not on your own.

C xx

Posted: 01 October 2008 at 12:24pm | IP Logged

Madz hun,

You face a daily battle of juggling and balancing and it's hard to hear people trying to help and wanting to. The fact that people are acknoloding (sp sorry got a fuzzy head at the mo) your pain and difficulties is fab.

When dh is away it's hard emotionally and physically, the people we lean on most are suddenly not there, there's no adjustments. The fact that we have kids is what gets us out of bed and keep plodding despite the big up hill battle we're fighting. Once they are in bed all we have is our own thoughts to keep us company and to keep us fighting.

Hugs hun it's hard to know sometimes why tears happen but whatever the sneaky reason for these tears you can know the people close to you love you no matter what.... and are greatful for you battling on.

A few tears never killed anyone (as far as i know) and it's good to let it all out occasionally, try to think of it as a possitive a release from all thats happened over the last couple of weeks, you've gone from being on your own to having help, aids and support and it's a shock to the system....

It will take time to adjust and dh should be home soon and your teamwork will be back in place. Keep going hun your doing fab.

Posted: 05 October 2008 at 9:12am | IP Logged

Hoping you're coping as best as can be reasonably expected.

Best Wishes.

Posted: 05 October 2008 at 6:23pm | IP Logged

aw madz, think it could be the time of year, i have been crying at the drop of a hat. happy things, sad things, things that pop in your head when your pondering on life.

hope your feeling better soon, you do have a lot to cope with and do it fantastically, i only wish i had half your energy and drive.

take care