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Posted: 31 July 2006 at 2:10pm | IP Logged

Hey all, I apologise in advance if this turns into a long post..

As many of you r aware I had NLP therapy (neuro linguistic programming) and in the main it had some pretty good effect on me

However I still have a problem with over obsessing worrying about things, silly things that will prob never happen in my lifetime it really drives me round the bend tbh...  I will focus on one 'problem' whether it is that I have cancer or if something terrible is going to happen to my security.  Ive even accused dh of having an affair!

It then runs every waking thought from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep.  I try to push it to the back of my mind and get on and do something positive, then Im okay for a few days then before I know it Im back stressing again. And so the circle carries on..

dh has been brilliant with me, he talks and spends the time putting things into perspective and I feel better for a while. He has said recently he feels he needs to do more around the house and with the children to enable me to have me time and a life of my own, but Ive done nothing about it.  I seem quite happy to isolate myself in my own bubble and cant be bothered to make the effort with much at all.  As dh is a qualified therapist I should feel lucky Ive somebody to talk to  and help me, but most of the time I snap at him and just have no patience..

Its a very lonely place to be tbh, and one I really would like to be out of, and just be normal and not worry about stupid things that only exist in my head. Why cant I just be happy and content in my head without looking for things to worry about. A counsellor once said to me I have a very good imagination, I start off with one little thing, that turns into a big huge issue, all over nothing. She said I should make better use of my imagination instead. Dh says too, I should have something to focus on but I know this sounds really mad, but I feel I cant focus on anything it dosnt feel right to do so, as if the negative worrying part of me is saying hey its not right for you to be thinking of something else, you should be worrying

I know Im not making an ounce of sense, this really gets me down and I dont feel that meds are going to be the road I want to go down personally. I just want to live my life instead of letting it pass me by and just existing.  Im surprised my dh sticks with me at all :(

thanks for listening guys, it means a lot, and Im sorry for rabbling on

lots of luv

lilybxx

Posted: 31 July 2006 at 2:28pm | IP Logged

Awww hun, xxxx.

I'm so sorry you aren't having a great time of it. It does sound like depression but if you don't want to take meds, fair play to you. Have you thought about St Johns Wort ? I take it and although I still have days when I feel like the whole world is against me, I can see things slighty clearer than I used to.

Posted: 31 July 2006 at 2:37pm | IP Logged

Lilyb don't apologise for rambling on here - as we all know madmums is a great place to air whats going on in our heads

I only wish I knew how to advise you on this one hun

I have never heard of the NLP therapy so forgive me if I sound ignorant - is it the kind of thing you need to keep going for or was that a one off?

Do you have any hobbies that you could pursue to try and focus your mind on?  You dh sounds like he is really trying to help you and if he is offering to take care of the children then you should try and have some "you" time if you can. You say you can't be bothered and I know what you mean but try and force yourself into having time out away from the kids and the house.

Even just going out for a coffee with a friend or going to the cinema or something - start off doing little things then try and work your way up to taking up new pursuits.

Do you like going to the gym or swimming?

I am sorry if I am being of no help to you hun but just wanted you to know we are here to support you

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted: 31 July 2006 at 6:42pm | IP Logged

Hi Lilyb.

I'm so saddened to hear how bad you're feeling, but you really mustn't apologise.  We're hear to listen and comfort, and possibly help you if we can.  Your DH sounds like a decent man, and even though he is a trained therapist he's too close for you to actually really help you where it's needed.  That's why you need counselling with somebody who isn't known to you.  Does your DH go to the sessions with you?  I ask because maybe if he doesn't he may also benefit by going with the view of getting advice on how to take care of you.

You've got some much going on in your life that it's perfectly natural for you to feel depressed and the paranoia could be one of the symptoms from the depression.  I'm a great believer in exercise and good diet.  I also hate the four walls syndrome and try and alleviate the boredom and frustration by going out as much as possible.

I know you have a large family, but do you and DH actually spend quality time together?  Having a night out just the two of you and give you a break and put things into perspective.  This alone isn't going to 'cure' you, but it may help lift you a little.

Are you on anti-ds?  I think a visit to the dr may also be a good idea. 

I'm not a trained counsellor, nor do I pretend to be, but if you ever want to chat then I'll pm you my tel number.

Take care, lovey.

Zo xxxx

Posted: 31 July 2006 at 6:54pm | IP Logged

Sharon honey I'm so sorry you are feeling like this again. I wish I could be the one to wave a magic wand and make it go away.

Have you tried self help programs? I have a book called A self help guide to managing depression - I havent used it as I bought it after I had depression in case I needed it again. I'll send it to you, maybe it will help.

When did you last speak to your go about this? If it wasnt recently then book a double appt so you dont feel rushed and talk it all though and see what course of action is recommended.

You have been a rock to me in the past and I want you to know I am here whenever you need/want someone. We must arrange that meet up as it would do us both the world of good!

Is the NLP therapy a one off? Or can you go back again if you need to?

Huge hugs honey!

Posted: 31 July 2006 at 10:36pm | IP Logged

thanks so much girls for your kind and lovely words

Well the NLP thing is something that is meant to be quicker and thus meaning you are a lot better quicker than the usual methods.

I did only go for one session but perhaps I shouldve kept on and gone for at least 2 or 3 more.

Its not something that is a magical kind of cure or anything, just helps you think better and totally different

I think I will approach dh to take me off there again :D

thanks again peeps, you meant a lot to me

lots of luv

lilybxxx