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Posted: 25 August 2006 at 10:35am | IP Logged

I always get like this when I'm depressed but this time I'm awful! This is the 3rd bout of depression I have had since me and dp got together and I cant believe he's stayed with me through it all!

I thought the anti depressents were starting to work last week but I have now realised DP was making an extra huge effort to avoid any rows and that is difficult as I seem to start them at any opportunity. He has just phoned and said that tomorrow he will get up early (we're going to be staying at my parents house house-sitting at the weekend) and come home to do the hoovering and the lawn, then he'll take Ed for a bike ride as we're just got him a bike seat and helmet. So instead of being greatful I said 'You do what you like' he asked why I was being like that and I started crying and said I am fed up with everything being turned into a silly row! He said he wanted me to be more enthusiastic about things and I said I cant I'm depressed I'm not enthusiastic about anything and he needs to make allowances for that and he said he did. He then had to take another call but wished me luck at my chiropracter appt and said hed see me later.

I cant believe I was such a cow! What annoys me is I know I'm being like it but I cant stop myself. I treat him terribly and expect him to just take it and it isnt fair. I know alot of the problem is that everything he said he's going to do are things I used to do but now I cant because of this stupid spd and that really gets to me!

Sorry to winge on. I am seeing the GP next thursday so I'll see if he can suggest anything.

Posted: 25 August 2006 at 10:58am | IP Logged

Madz - first of all, you're not alone in this at all. I'm exactly the same with DH and like you say, I know I'm doing it! I know that's not much help, but I just want you to know that you're not alone.

There's a website run by the Association for Post Natal Illness which has a very useful list of information for partners. I know its aimed at PND, but I think its very useful for anyone who is depressed and has a child, be it PND or otherwise. Here's a http://www.apni.org/helpfulinfo.htm

Hope this is of some help. Hang in there and get Ed to give you a massive hug.

Posted: 25 August 2006 at 11:05am | IP Logged

Thanks Dizie! Thats really helpful. It does help to know I'm not alone.

I would get Edward to give me a cuddle but the lazy bones is still in bed! He had his milk at 9.30am and prompty went back to sleep! Typical as we need to go out later and he now wont get his nap in so will be a grump!

Posted: 25 August 2006 at 1:34pm | IP Logged

    I am lucky and have never suffered from real depression but my mum did and she landed up in a mental hospital as they tried to wean her of her anti depressants. I can remember the rows my parents had when I was a child and my dad has always stood by her even though he was always the one being shouted at. They have been married for 44 years .

   I wish you all the luck In the world trying to beat this horrible illness and wish there was more advice I could offer you.

Posted: 25 August 2006 at 3:03pm | IP Logged

aw madz please dont feel bad about it.

Depression is an awful thing and gets us doing all sorts of things we know are out of character.

Was only talking to my sil at the weekend about it all, and think this depression if its something you are prone to like I am, dh, my sil etc its how you approach it I think, which is where my nlp has helped loads.  Nobody waved a magic wand and said to me thats it youre cured, but I do manage to think my way into feeling different about things

Im exactly the same tho, when Im feeling pants poor dh gets it big time, I pick at him, find fault, nag etc etc, so much so I end up thinking that the poor bloke just disappears in the house just to get away from me!!

I hope youre feeling a bit better after your chiro appointment, its awful and frustrating for you to be in so much pain all the time, that certainly cant help your mood, its all understandable hun

sending big sunny suffolk hugs to you

lots of luv

lilybxxx