Pregnancy Forums

Posted: 04 February 2008 at 10:43am | IP Logged

I have no idea where to post this as it could go in pregnancy, twins and multiples, or miscarridge and still birth.

My friend told me in October she was carrying twins. She was pretty scared as she had a 2 year old already and didnt know how she would cope. Anyway I didnt see her for a while and when I saw her in december she had lost one of the babies. She lost a little girl at 17 weeks which was discovered at the 20 week scan. Amazingly she is still carrying a little boy and he is growing fine.

She is scanned every 2 weeks to keep an eye on everything. Twin 1 is sort of fading away and now doesnt look like a foetus but just a mass of fibers. Apparently she will probably expel baby 1 along with the placenta after twin 2 is born.

She had a lovely home birth with her daughter and now wants to try for one with this pregnancy seeing as she isnt carrying twins anymore. The consultant cant see any reason why this would be a problem but noone really seems to be able to tell her anything. Apparently it is really rare to lose one baby at that stage of pregnancy.

So do any of you know anyone who has been through anything similar? I dont know what advice I can give her and I feel a bit like a chocolate fireguard (to coin stephs phrase).

Posted: 04 February 2008 at 10:49am | IP Logged

My aunt had a similar thing happen, twins, one miscarried later on and she had a normal vaginal delivery, my only advice is don't look at the 2nd twin when it comes out, it will not be pleasant as it will probably cause more upset about what you have lost rather than what you just gained. My aunt's 2nd twin didn't look like a baby it had started to break down and decay.

I'm sorry to hear of her loss, but she probably just needs you to be a shoulder to cry on and rant at.

Posted: 04 February 2008 at 8:19pm | IP Logged

Awww hun it's a difficult place but i would encourage her to do what's going to make her happiest and ask that the mw sorts out placenta and checks it and other twin in a different room as i agree this will be a really distressing part.

Hope she ends up with a happy birth memory than one of heartbreak even though there is bound to be some.

Hugs to you both xx