Parenting Forums

Posted: 12 April 2007 at 8:06am | IP Logged

Does anyone have the same problem as me?

i get on really well with the mother in law(to be) but not the father. he constantly has little digs and tries to belittle me in front of people. Upto now i have just ignored and will carry on to do so. But most people have problems with the mothers.

Posted: 12 April 2007 at 9:05am | IP Logged

Hi Giles

My dh's parents have been divorced for years, I get on brilliantly (mostly) with my mum-in-law, but I don't get on with my fil at all. He actually offered to pay for my dh to go to university and finish the degree that he started as long as he didn't marry me! He has high aspirations for his children and I think he sees it that I came along and got in the way, I haven't been to university either and we don't live in a massive detached pad in the middle of the countryside, so I'm really not what he wanted for his son. (Not that he has any right to make that judgement as he buggered off when my dh was 12 and didn't support them at all either financially or otherwise.) He's constantly making little digs and, as much as I try to ignore it, it does hurt.

The thing I try to tell myself is that it really doesn't matter what he thinks. It's the same for you. Georgina chose you, she loves you loads (as we can all see from your little mini-chat over there!) and soon she'll be having your baby. What her dad thinks obviously makes no difference to her feelings for you, and that truly is all that matters.

Dads and their daughters are a complicated combination (as you'll discover in years to come) and it may just be that he's worried about her. He won't like to see her in pain and discomfort from the SPD with this pregnancy, and that will be upsetting him too. Just keep demonstrating how much you love Georgina and the children, and I'm sure he'll soon realise that you are the best thing for her, and will change the way he is with you in time.

Good luck!

Rachel

Posted: 12 April 2007 at 2:29pm | IP Logged

Hmmm outlaws...mine have just left woohoo.  Me in my infinite wisdom said on monday..you know you can stay over a bit longer, mum phoned and shes not coming over this week, so you are more than welcome to have her room for a bit...me thinking they wouldnt stay...but ooooo noooo they stayed.  Joes mum does my tree in.  Lost the plot (in a nice way) on sunday as all i got once the girls went to bed was cancer this and cancer that...please woman STFU.  Went for a tab, and joe (i think) had a few words and she never said anything.  I did get a 'you look pretty with no hair' well hang on...i thought i was pretty when i had hair and bloooming gawwwgess with no hair lol. 

His dad I get on well with, he just potters about, and is happy to go with the flow, whereas his mum is well, what can i say, a cow lol.  Mind you managed not to spend a lot of time with her this time round (phew) cos me and his dad took the dogs out for long walks and had some chats which is good.  Out the two of them his dad is more worried about me, whereas his mum is just worried as to how joe is coping lol. 

I havent subjected joe to my natural father, purely for the digging comments that he just cant help himself with.  Comes to something when he phones and its..oh you are still alive then, or oh still married then, hmm even i cant resist hanging up on him. 

Just grin and bear it mate, all you can do.

Posted: 15 April 2007 at 8:10pm | IP Logged

You did the right thing Giles, and as the girls get bigger they will realise and love you all the more for it. Like Steph said, grinning and bearing it is all you can do, hard though that is, but it makes you a better man than he is, as Georgina clearly already knows.

Keep it up mate!