Parenting Forums

Posted: 26 July 2007 at 7:57pm | IP Logged

Im sure there will be mixed view on this but thats wot im looking for...an honest opinion

Im considering moving to (north) England next year once im qualified, obviously taking Ryan with me

I feel we need a new start really & i know moving country is a drastic measure but iv always wanted to go back to England

The main problem is it will mean taking Ryan away from his daddy who i still hav a really close relationship with & he sees Ryan almost every day whereas if we moved that far away i know during the week visits wouldnt b an option due to my job & Ryan being at nursery which would only leave the weekend & someone would hav 2 do the travelling which coul b expensive especially since neither me or ex drive...

I know the thought of us moving away fills ex with dredd but really wot i want to do is wotever is n Ryans best intersets here

Is it worth the upheaval for me to feel like i have freedom (wen really i'l probably b more isolated cause i have no family down there)?

Wot would u do in this situation...HELP!!!

Posted: 26 July 2007 at 8:08pm | IP Logged

its difficult but in all honsty i think id move,but id say also it would depend on what sort of support you have and would have if you were to move,do you know many people where you are planning on moving? you will no doubt face diff times and will need people around you.

i know it will be hard for your ex but you have to be selfish at times and as you have said you are doing it for yourself and ryans future.

if its what you have wanted for a while and you think you could be happy then go for it...where abouts are you thinking?

xxxx

Posted: 26 July 2007 at 11:56pm | IP Logged

I moved countries, primarily because i was bored pmsl but other reasons too. In my opinion, the schooling where we were was pants. 3 schoold told me they are not able to teach children to an ability level, as they are often not well enough staffed, and therefore children are taught on the syllabus and thats it. I also didnt like the neighbourhood, and I had vowed that Joshua would not be brought up where we were. I made the choice that if I was going to move, i was going somewhere where I could build a life, it was a long term move, and it had to be before Joshua started school, or I know I wouldnt have uprooted him. All that coupled with my redundancy, and off I went.

It was the best thing I have ever done! I am so happy out here. My family are 120 miles, and yes of course we miss them, as they do us. Joshua was used to seeing his grandma and grandad daily almost, and now he see's them as and when. Joshua has settled better than anyone could have hoped for. He has adapted to seeing everyone less, and is happy to talk on the phone to make the time gap easier. My family are more happy for me knowing I am out here and happy, than I am in Bury and unsettled!

You have to really think about where you want to move to. North England where? have you researched the schools? What about local schools you have now? Class sizes, and achievements? Would it be better for Ryan moving? Yes he'd adapt to seeing his dad less, and be honest when you settle with someone, properly settle, and so does his dad, then its likely you will see less of him anyway, and have a more structured agrangement. Have you thought about the cost of living? Is it any different? And getting a house?

I agree with Sam that you have to move for the right reasons. If it is for problems and things then they will only follow you. If it is what you want, then dont let other things get in your way. You have to think about your needs, then Ryans, then everyone elses. You cant always do whats best for Ryan first, if you're not happy Ryan will pick up on that. You have to look after yourself before you can look after someone else.

Have a think about it, and if its still what you want, really want, then dont let anything else hold you back. If you think you're doing it for the wrong reasons, then you probably are!

And just to recap what Sam.. Why England ha haha Great Britain has 3 beautiful countries, and you chose the other one lol (Pennies excluded lol)

Posted: 27 July 2007 at 7:35am | IP Logged

lilp being in a new area with no hands on help will be very hard-babysitters that are good are hard to come by

perhaps you need to visit your chosen area before deciding

how will you get new housing? can you afford housing in that area?

what will moving costs be-you dont drive will someone else drive all your stuff down?

do a pros/cons list and talk to ryans dad after that

good luck 

Posted: 27 July 2007 at 10:57am | IP Logged

We move all the time...well used to lol..6 years in stafford, in fact 6 years in one place in my book is just wrong..never done it before lol.

I love moving, see it as an adventure.  New place, new house, new area, new start, new freedoms, new way of looking at things.

My ex tries to put the collybosh on any move we make..however, he kicks off big style..but once I point out that he hardly sees tasja as it is as hes always doing something else...our geography makes no difference.

Travelling isnt so hard as that can be made as part of the adventure, and thats what we do with tasja when she goes away.  Finally convinced the ex that the train is quicker and cheaper than the car as well as less stress etc.

Kids are resilient when it comes to moving.  Adults find it a bit harder sometimes.  If its something you really want to do, think about it long and hard, write down all the pros and cons.  Give yourself a few months to think about it..and if you are still in the same frame of mind...go for it chick.

Posted: 27 July 2007 at 11:26am | IP Logged

Hey Pauline,

I agree with Jo and Steph and make a list of pros and cons. 
Obviously I don't want you to move as I can't do what I did last Sat and just bombard you with texts and end up at your house lol!!  But if it's what you want go for it!

I mean if your planning on doing the next year in Glasgow still, you have a whole year to plan, so you're not making and rushed desision.  I'm here if you need me whatever your desision!!

Lots of huggles to you and Ryan,

xxxxxxx