Parenting Forums

Posted: 16 May 2008 at 3:59pm | IP Logged

I really don't know what to do about this one......where do I begin......

I a friend I made in a toddler group over a year ago, We have become close. We meet up once a week if not more. She is a nice girl, very head strong and opionated but the good out-weighs the bad. (we all have our faults, I am only almost perfect, lol)

I think I have written a post about this one before.....

She corrects Rachel way too much, it's not her place and she has even rased her voice at her.....I just don't know what to do or say.

I am actually a little afraid of her so If I do say some thing I am afraid it would ruin our friendship or she could turn really *y on me.

I am a timid person and hate confrontation plus I am in no condition for a arguement.

What will I do girls because its really getting to me, she is the kind of person not to let things go, so even if I do say some thing( as nice as possible) to her I don't think our friendship will ever be the same.

I just want to scram at her to stop correcting my child, she is my responsibility, back off, and if you raise your voice at her once one we're done. but that would definately ruin the friendship.

Posted: 16 May 2008 at 4:20pm | IP Logged

Like you quite rightly said hunny, Rachel is your responsibility and your child - not hers.  If anyone, it should be you correcting her and no one else.  I, like you, hate confrontations, but by the way you have described her, maybe you are better off without this person's friendship.

If you think about it psychologically, your 'friend' is aware that you are maybe a bit frightened of her and that you are timid, which is why she is taking liberties in correcting your child, and she knows she will get away with it - cos you wont say owt to her.

If you dont do it now, she will think its ok and carry on hunny.  Just sort of 'casually' drop into the conversation how you hate it when, say your mother or mil corrects Rachel - at least that diverts the focus from her and if she gets stroppy, just tell her where to go!!

Obviously its entirely up to you what you do, but i hope this helps xxxxx

Posted: 16 May 2008 at 4:28pm | IP Logged

oh hun as i read that i thought of myself

i kinda have a habit of telling off my friends kids. but i always say if they feel that im sticking my oar in that they should say. a couple of times they have but not often. i would mention it to her.

 i felt really bad when i realised how my friends felt but most of the time they tell me to carry on. it is a hard one but just explain if possible im sure if she was a good friend she would understand. i now try to take a step back and as you say let them deal with it ( i do find they generally dont then tell them which then annoys me if they are either in my house being naughty or are being naughty to my children) .

this may help or i may be rambling lol (sorry) take care

Posted: 16 May 2008 at 4:36pm | IP Logged

 It's a hard one because I have already told her that my sister was corrceting rachel and I had word with her about it, that didn't work.

It really bugs me when she raises her voice at her.....really really not her place.

plus she is one of these people she could spend a little more time correcting her own child if you know what I mean.

Rachel is not in play school yet so michael is her little friend and I don't want to take that away from her.

Posted: 16 May 2008 at 4:44pm | IP Logged

mmmmmmm hun it is hard you would think she would sort out her own child

i like the subtle remarks lol shame they didnt work

Posted: 16 May 2008 at 4:49pm | IP Logged

I wish I had the balls to say it but I am afriad she will pick me up wrong,

Posted: 16 May 2008 at 5:39pm | IP Logged

You really do need to take the risk and speak with her, no one has the right to shout or sorrect your little girl without your say so!

I snapped at my parents once, for giving in to Joshua after I had said no, I felt bad afterwards but they realised why I was upset and quickly things changed (well with my dad lol mum is still a softie lol)

Im sure she'll be ok with you, she probably doesnt realise she is doing anything out of turn. If asking her nicely doesnt work you will have to be blunt. Maybe start it with, 'I really dont want this to ruin our friendship, and I was in two minds whether to say something but... '