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Twins and Multiples

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Forum Start Madmums | Pregnancy and Parenting Forums » Parenting Forums » Twins and Multiples

One on one time Topic: One on one time

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offline danidakin
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Posted: 05 May 2007 at 8:44pm | IP Logged Quote danidakin

I've put this on the twins forum, but thinking about it, it's a question for anyone with more than one child.

Do you set time aside, like the weekend or evenings to have one on one time with one of your children?

I'm starting to think the girls are missing out on this because I just don't have the time to spend alone with one of them and they are always together.

Do you think its a good idea to do this?

x

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offline steph
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Posted: 05 May 2007 at 8:50pm | IP Logged Quote steph

I spend more time with Isla than I do with Natasja but thats because tasja is at school all day.  I have felt bad about it over the last few months as ive not really spent a lot of time with either of them cos ive just been too tired or feeling yacky.

Once Isla has gone to bed, I spend time with tasja..as her bedtime is 45mins after Islas.  So she gets some time with just me.  At the weekends and after school then its just a free for all lol, and they just have to share me, they dont have any problems with it..im just the referee lol.

I wouldnt worry about it mate, they are spending time with you and with each other so jobs done

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offline Vickimom
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Posted: 05 May 2007 at 10:58pm | IP Logged Quote Vickimom

If I'm honest I've never really given it much thought!  As you know I have 5 kids 16 (this month), 14, 12, 2 and 10 months.  I know the older ones did start to suffer once the 2 lo's came along, but once I got the bedtime routine, going for the 2 little ones the older ones have got alot better as they have time off!  Fred started whinging when Winston seemed to have more time with me than he did, once he was having the same bedtime, I've found tehre's no problem.  So long as they both get your attention whether one on one or at the same time, they will be happy!
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offline connacher
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Posted: 05 May 2007 at 11:47pm | IP Logged Quote connacher

when  my youngest goes to bed for his houre in the afternoon me and Katie have time toegther then when the wee man gets up katie gets the tv and david gets mummy time. i realy do think "me" time is important but i really dont know how you could do this with twins  do they sleep at the sme time. also sometimes i but david nfer the baby jym and i play with katie  then david gets his turn .
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offline RIN1983
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Posted: 06 May 2007 at 10:06am | IP Logged Quote RIN1983

I think this is one of the things parents to more than one child learn to live with.  I think its not impossible, but difficult to spend a set one on one time with each child as there is so  much to do inbetween.  Harrison is at school all day so I spend lots of time one on one with Louis.

When Harry comes home i find it difficult tio spend time with him because there is Lou to look after.  It will always be like this but children adapt and live with things, I do however get my sisters to babysit one or the other so we can get some one on one time.

With twins though, I'd imagine their routine is the same and with them always being together i'd imagine it would be more difficult.

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Posted: 06 May 2007 at 1:24pm | IP Logged Quote MumSam

I think one on one time is a fairly modern thing.  My mother certainly would never have heard of it if I asked her about it.  I think it's importnant that children learn how to be part of a family and community.  They do this by doing things together and learning to compromise.  Yes it's important you listen to each child individualy but I am not so sure they actually need your undevided attention individually.  For twins I think they are probably even more used to sharing their mummy as that's all they have ever known.  When the girls were little the way I gave them one to one time was to listen to them read in the evening or when I read to them at bedtime.  Not a lot of time I know but that way they did get some time with just me if they needed it and they also learnt to be part of a family and hopefully what that meant.  (although I am not sure it worked with Hayley.....)
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