Joined: 01 July 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 2 Gender: Not Specified
Posted: 01 July 2007 at 5:06pm | IP Logged
Hi all,
i found out i was pregnant in january after trying for 4yrs but unfortunatley i miscarried the end of febuary...i thought i was coping well but am finding it increasingly harder to completely come to terms with it my cousin and friend are both due to give birth the same week that i was due in september and i hate feeling jealous of all the pregnant women i see as i am not a nauturally jealous person so these feelings are very new as well as coping with the loss i feel as if something is missing..we are still trying but with no sucess so far...i'm just feeling very low and cannot air these feeling's to others close to me and have been bottling them up for the last 4mths so thought i'd have a rant thanks for giving me somewhere to do this
Joined: 30 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 6725 Gender: Female
Posted: 01 July 2007 at 5:21pm | IP Logged
I'm really sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage in 2002, but I hadn't been ttc, so I can not imagine how it must feel for you and your partner. I do know it did take time for me to come to terms with my miscarriage, and seeing other pregnant women was really difficult. It is important you let yourself grieve for your loss, have you told your parner how you are feeling? Have you consulted your GP to see if there is a medical reason its taking so long to ttc?
We do have a one to one buddy scheme here on madmums, one of this schemes is miscarriage support where you can talk to some one who understands a little about what you are feeling. You can access this scheme HERE
What you are feeling is natural, and it is best to let it all out. I hope you will get your BFP soon!
Joined: 11 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 5990 Gender: Female
Posted: 01 July 2007 at 5:39pm | IP Logged
Miscarriage is so cruel and doubly cruel when all you want is a baby and everyone else seems to do it with little effort. My due date from my first mc is on the 7th July in a weeks time and I am finding it hard to cope at the moment made worse by having miscarried in May after seeing my babies on scan quite healthy then loosing them a few weeks later. It's hard to cope with all the feelings that spin around you like you say. Feeling jealous of other people is all part of it, even resenting them for having what was stolen from you. I keep hoping time will heal but so far don't feel healed at all. All I can offer is a hug and some empathy to what you are going through. It hurts like hell and just when you think you are feeling ok it hits you again and pulls you straight back down. I hope that you feel stronger soon and don't deny the natural things you are feeling. xx
Joined: 01 April 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 450 Gender: Female
Posted: 01 July 2007 at 5:42pm | IP Logged
Hi Sianni,
I am so sorry for your loss hun. I would say everything you are feeling and experincing is totally understandable.
I just want to say there are people here who want to support you so you do not have to bottle up how you feel.
After my miscarriage i did not really talk to others about it as i was worried people were not interested but over time i have found it amazing how supportive others have been as well as the number of others who have expericened this which has been a huge help both in being able to relate to others as well as not feeling so alone.
Joined: 05 July 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 2336 Gender: Female
Posted: 01 July 2007 at 5:43pm | IP Logged
I'm so sorry for your loss hun. I'm sure it must be really hard for you to be happy for your cousin and friend when this is still so raw for you. It really does help to have a rant every now and again, it gets things out of your system and into the open so your not coping with your emotions by yourself. There is no quick cure for the jealousy or despair your feeling, it will just gradually subside with time hun. I hope you get what you are after soon. Take care x-x-x
Joined: 11 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 8635 Gender: Female
Posted: 01 July 2007 at 7:00pm | IP Logged
It is hard this early on. I can tell you time does heal. I had 2 m/c 12-14 yrs ago, and even now it's hurts to think about them. But feeling jealous and resenting is very normal. I'm here if you need someone to write to. Often just writing down your feelings rather than bottling them up is a huge help.
Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 2625 Gender: Not Specified
Posted: 01 July 2007 at 7:08pm | IP Logged
I'm very sorry for your loss and that you're feeling this way - I wasn't ttc for as long as you but when I miscarried it took me a long time to get over it and if I'm honest, I don't think I truly felt better until I got pregnant again. What you're feeling is completely normal so don't feel guilty about it..have you been offered counselling at all? I went to the docs and they offered me this but I got pg and then felt that I didn't need to go...it might help you? I do hope you feel better soon, xx
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Topic: 4mths on and still struggling
