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Lilly
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Posted: 30 August 2007 at 3:58pm \| IP Logged

Hi, I am Lilly (newish here),

I have had a missed-miscarriage a month ago. I started to bleed (not heavily) at 13 weeks. I was referred to the A & E & was told my cervix was closed & my tummy felt very soft & that there was still 'hope', because I felt well & painfree. I had a scan two days later & I was told that my baby had died 4 weeks ago at 9 weeks.

I was given a photo as a keepsake. I opted to have a ERPC done straight away, mainly because I was still breastfeeding my 13 month daughter & I couldn't afford to be out of action & hubby was needed at work in a few days time.

I was returned home the same day. I had the lost baby bought home two weeks later after I had thought about it. 'He or her' is now buried in the garden & I am not at all reglious person. I just felt this was the right thing to do.

A little burial ceremony was held. It helped my 3 year daughter to understand 'death' better. She drew a picture for the baby, which we buried along with some other sentimental items. My other 13 month old put 'in' a rose. I put 'in' a lock of my hair with little notes of "i love yous". My hubby lighted all the candles.

This was a good way of saying goodbye. I am glad I did it and the baby was only 22.2mm in size. That didn't bother me as I was more concerned about the 'soul' side of things.

Edited by Lilly on 31 August 2007 at 9:13am

Angelica72
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Posted: 30 August 2007 at 4:22pm \| IP Logged

I'm very sorry for your loss. I think your ceremony sounds a lovely thing to do for you all - I hope it in some way helped you to come to terms with what happened.

xxx

bensmum
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Posted: 30 August 2007 at 5:01pm \| IP Logged

What a lovely idea! I din't know you could do that. I hope it has helped you and your family come to terms with the loss. Thoughts go out to you, and everyone else who has lossed lo's.

mamma2bronze
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Posted: 30 August 2007 at 5:19pm \| IP Logged

hi again lilly,having that goodbye for you and your family was a lovely idea and i think it will have helped your children understand a little better as you say. hugs xxx

mum of 4!
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Posted: 30 August 2007 at 5:23pm \| IP Logged

Hiya hun.
I'm really sorry for the your loss of your lo.
I had to bury my daughter the end of March who was still born at full term, so i can understand the effect it has to have a lovely little ceremony, especailly to help your children come to terms with whats happened and to help them understand.
I hope burying your angel close to you has helped to heal your hurt in some way.
x-x-x

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Posted: 30 August 2007 at 6:41pm \| IP Logged

I am glad you could mourn the loss of your baby in the way you wanted to, it sounds very nice. With my mmc in December the hospitals policy is to bury all babies in the garden of rememberance at the local cemetary and then they hold a ceremony at the end of every month and your babies name is entered into a book of rememberance. How are you feeling now?

I was having a conversation about the soul or spirit of lost babies the other day. I had an odd experience just before I found out my first baby had died where I felt something leave me which I believe was my baby passing away. When I lost the triplets I didn't have the same experience until I was actively mc and just felt like they didn't want to go which was quite upsetting. There is so much we don't understand in life still.

Lilly
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Posted: 31 August 2007 at 9:52am \| IP Logged

Thank you for all your kind words.

Having a little ceremony certainly helps, the baby came home in a little white wooden box.

I am going to plant some snow-drops around the grave site. It will be nice to see them in the spring.

I haven't told the neighbours that I have buried my baby in the garden! They don't need to know do they.

tilly
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Posted: 31 August 2007 at 9:54am \| IP Logged

its none of your neighbours business, im sorry to here ur sad news and glad that u as a family could mourn your loss privately,

love tilly xxx

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Topic: A missed-miscarriage