| Posted: 11 May 2008 at 9:31am | IP Logged
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Please dont feel awkward or sorry. I have been thinking for days how I was going to tell you guys. I had another blood test and I was told I'd need to speak with the doctor again. The doctor said that they suspectly highly of it not being viable. Then they did an internal, took some swobs. I was bleeding the night before, just on and off but it was everytime I sneezed lol and a little worst each time. (I have chronic allergies and had had to stop taking my antihistamines). Anyway she said she suspected I was having a miscarriage. They did another scan, and more blood tests and they told me they really did think it was molar, and I was miscarriaging. They offered me a D&C but said that it came with its own risks, as I already know. They said they could leave me to miscarry naturally but it could be days or weeks of on and off bleeding. They also offered an injection, and medication to bring on the miscarriage, with heavy pain killers so that physically I would feel only the minimum. I opted for this option. I had bad crampy within hours and bled heavily for about 3 days but Ive only had mild cramping since and no bleeding so I guess its over. They took some tissue samples and I will get the results when I go back to see the endocrine doctor.
Emotionally I am honestly ok. I have seen this as a positive experience.. I managed to get pregnant. Against all odds, with the chances stacked against me I still managed it. Think what I can achieve with planning, a good diet, weight loss, medication from the doctor.. I am hopeful that when the time is right for me I will be able to do it again. The doctors also think that this may all help me get a regular cycle back. I may have lost a pregnancy but it has given me much more hope in my bodies capability.
Everything happens for a reason, I truely believe that. This pregnancy was not meant to be, I think it was just meant to send me hope when I had given up on all chance of ever being a mum again. For now, I am just happy for the child I have. The day it happened I was in quite a lot of pain on the sofa and Joshua asked me to play pirates so I agreed and he came and curled up on me then promptly sat on my shoulder. I asked what he was doing and he said he was being the parrot. I cried with laughter! He is all I need right now, and I am filled with hope for the future. So really, there is no need for sorry's me and Joshua are great.
Sorry for not telling you sooner, I was more worried about making you feel awkward! Plus I think I needed to deal with it my time so I could accept it. Love you all, you're all so fantastic xxxxxx
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Topic: I had an induced miscarriage
