Parenting Forums

Posted: 01 May 2008 at 11:43am | IP Logged

Hi all

I'm not 100% sure I’m posting this in the right section but I just need to vent I’m worried and not sure what to do.

As most of you know my eldest son has damp (adhd with co-morbid perception and motor problems). He has problems remembering day to day how to do things that one day he can do even 30mins ago and another time he goes to do it he just can’t get it to click. He takes things so literally and it’s so difficult to help him understand the normal school boy banter and know that it’s normal for boys to say stuff off the cuff, but he takes things literally like pulling your socks up, get a wiggle on… some days can be fun etc other days it’s such a challenge.

He does talk to me but always feels like he’s got to keep things to himself as he doesn’t know how to put it and is confused about if they are joking and mucking around or mean it. He tells me about what he does but says he can’t remember what’s said at school. When things bother him he stops sleeping at night. He’s never been a good sleeper any way (his brother takes after him) and it’s ok now apart from nodding off (taking ages) and waking up at what feels like stupid o’clock! (5/6am). Recently he’s not been sleeping at all taking till mid night to nod off and wake up at 4 and wakes in between. It’s annoying as his bother’s not a good sleeper and at the age of 2 he still wakes thought the night at least twice most nights. (At different times!!)

I don’t quite know what to do to get him to open up and to help him sleep… we have chats, playing, lots of positive phrase… it’s just with the blatant lack of sleep he’s getting a lot more clumsy and forgetful. We have baths/showers, stories, mum and son time only (each one), lavender in the room to relax and aid the sleep… but if I ask him if everything’s ok or what’s up, when it’s very obvious he’s pondering, I just get the reply with him fighting tears I just don’t know mummy, I really have no idea. This distresses him more so I don’t use it very often.

I’ve called his paediatrician as I’m sure there’s something deeper worrying him, and I’m concerned about his lack of sleep but in the doctors fashionable style she is on holiday for a week and then she will get back to me and they don’t think it’s urgent enough to hand over to another doctor as it’ll still take 3-5days to get them up to speed on the notes… I’m hoping though some cooking etc this weekend together he’ll open up and share but I’m worried and I don’t like seeing my son hurting and worrying… I suppose it’s a side of parenting they don’t tell you about, the constant worry and concern about your children.

Sorry there’s not much use to this post but writing it all down has helped.

I suppose if anything I would like to know if anyone has any tricks on how to get kids to open up and share but also sleeping tips. I’m always willing to try new ideas.

Posted: 01 May 2008 at 4:43pm | IP Logged

I'm sure i've heard you say before, that you use mood charts to help him express his feelings, am i right?
My son uses these at school everyday, as part of his IEP and he finds it difficult to put into words or writing what it is that he is happy or sad about!
Could you try expanding his charts or use seperate flash cards to include things you may think he is worried about; a picture of school, people, rooms in your house, and the times of day like morning/bedtime.
It could be easier for him to pick out a picture, rather than sit and try to explain his feelings, and at least that will give you an incling into whats going on, which is better than not knowing anything.

I'm sure you are doing your best, and also doing everything you can to try and help him, im no expert on this at all.. so that was just a suggestion, but if its a pants one, then take no notice lololol
The best of luck
x-x-x

Posted: 01 May 2008 at 6:04pm | IP Logged

Mumof4, i seriously hadn't thought about expanding his mood charts etc like that. Thank you for the suggestion i'll sort that out asap.

Just goes to show a fresh set of eyes always helps.

As for his school he doesn't seem that different a little quite and tired but nothing out of the ordinary for him.

Music doesn't help he sits there in bed or his bedroom dancing even if it's just waves etc.