Parenting Forums

Posted: 19 October 2005 at 1:39am | IP Logged

Well, I had a call from ds2's head of year again!  It's now been a month, and she has managed to have a word with all of his teachers now!  The good news is in Design and Technology he does his best work, and always completes the tasks set within his capabilities!  His attitude has gone from fine to excellent!

Now the rest!  Did I know he frequently 'forgets' his PE kit!, he also has a bad habit of forgetting his lesson books too, the main culprit lessons are welsh and french! (both subjects that he hates his teachers! ) The presentation of his work(and you think doctors prescriptions are illegible)  He takes frequent breaks to visit the toilet and to get water (any excuse not to do work)  It doesn't concenrate or listen intently enoughh to what the teachers are saying so when they assign work or give home work he has paid o little attention that he can't complete the tassks as he has no idea what to do!  He's also very slow at working and writing so that the chances of him finishing work are slim to non existent and they wonder whether it's worth giving him any work in the first place!

I'm at the point I'm ready to wash my hands of him! I have no idea how toget through to him! Not even his dad can understand it.  For once I am totally stumped. No blackmail, bribery cash or toys works, not even saying he will have to stay home at weekends bothers him, he just takes it in his stride and says oh well!  What am I supposed to do? At least I can getthrough to the ther 2, and have the added bonus that dd loves to do scholl work and even asks me to make her do home work as well!

Any advice would be welcome I've finally hit the end of my tether with him!

Posted: 19 October 2005 at 8:56am | IP Logged

do you think he actually has a problem rather than him being a pest on purpose?

maybe hes in the wrong groups for the classes hes obviously struggling in? pressuming he is set in those subjects??

has he had his ears/eyes tested?

just trying to think of anything that may be putting obstacles in his way

Posted: 19 October 2005 at 9:04am | IP Logged

awww huni, Im posting to lend you my support sweetie, I could have written this post.  I am in more or less the same situation with my ds, so I am not good in the advice department.

My ds is exactly the same, he comes home with homework he dosent know what to do with it, and his easy way out is to say hes going to homework club at lunchtime, where I know he will just copy somebody else.

ive had no end of probs before we moved here though mainly, even to him stealing somebody elses pe kit to get himself out of trouble as he lost his own.

His answer to everything is shrugged shoulders - hmm sometimes I could readily crucify him lol.

The one and only thing he likes is cooking, he says he wants to be a chef, but the hard work involved and the reality of it will be a big shock to him I know it.

I hope things work themselves out, as I said to my dh the other day I hope he dont remember all this as we were being nasty to him, he is always grounded that dosnt work, we stopped his pocket money that dosnt work, plus countless other things dont work.  Every day is a stand off.

Im with you huni, although no help, pm me if you need, or catch me on IM if you need a rant or chat or whatever...

sending big hugs

love

Sharonxxx

Posted: 21 October 2005 at 10:16am | IP Logged

I hope you dont take this the wrong way, just exploring possibilities here but have you ever spoken to SENCO at school.  If he is finding it difficult to concentrate and organise himself he may have given up trying.  Am not saying that this is the reason, but my boy is dyspraxic, his writing and presentation is awful, his concentration can be bad and I have to organise his bag every morning of what he has to take to school or he has no chance.  oh and it doesnt mean that he is stupid cos when he had his IQ tested when he was about 6, it came back as him being in the top 7% for his age

Would it be worth trying to get him assessed, even if only to rule out the possibility. 

Am only speaking from my own experiences, so hope I havent offended in any way 

Posted: 21 October 2005 at 10:37am | IP Logged

kasak i really dont think vix will be offended

ive chatted to her about similar thoughts

but yours are better cos they are from a hands on mum!

Posted: 21 October 2005 at 11:44am | IP Logged

awww vic.

massive hugs coming your way hun from me and leo.

i havn't got any advise for you hun because ive never had a child in secondary school.

i'm just hoping for your's and his sake that it's just a phase

love to you and the family

gem.xx

Posted: 01 November 2005 at 12:29am | IP Logged

I think we may have found a reason as to why he's not trying!  Thanks to Jopsy's suggestion I booked him in for his eye test, other ones to follow, and his eyesight is BAD.  I've been told if he was driving he would be borderline legal in one eye and very illegal in the other. He gets his glasses on Friday!

The optician was fantastic, and without knowing the history has told me if he tells me his eyes are getting better, he's lying, and if he says he doesn't need his glasses for certain things again he's lying!  And this was from someone, who didn't know what he was like!

Thanks ladies for your support and help, will keep you all updated if this one doesn't work

Posted: 01 November 2005 at 7:30am | IP Logged

hurrah hurrah

heres hoping it improves now vix!

Posted: 01 November 2005 at 8:24am | IP Logged

Well done Detective Jopsy

Thats great that u seem 2 hav found the root of the problem, i really hope this helps him improve

Posted: 01 November 2005 at 8:31am | IP Logged

Excellent News Vix!!

I didn't see this post 1st time round, but if its any help - DH had the same kind of thing going on when he was younger. That too turned out to be his eyesight - and was fixed very quickly once he started to wear his glasses. He hated them, but they really did help. He literally couldn't see the blackboard, but refused to tell anyone so would muck about etc.

Really hope that things start to improve now!!