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Posted: 04 February 2008 at 4:18pm | IP Logged

My wonderful dd lied to me all week-end about where she was (was with bf but told me she was with mates). Yep, it is all back on, stupid girl that she is can't see when she is being used. She has skivved off school today. Found her at her mates house in the village. I went round with the wee two and confronted her. Was sworn at for my trouble and then she went to slap me but her mates Mum stepped in and stopped her.

Have had the Head on the phone saying that she has burnt her bridges with the school so that's her going to have to leave now, whether she bothers to take her exams is anyones guess.

She is now in Inverness with that t**t, so we shall see how long he puts up with her.

This will sound so heartless, but sh eneedn't even bother coming back here like it is her home, cos it isn't. She is welcome to come and get her clothes only and then she an go.

Posted: 04 February 2008 at 5:03pm | IP Logged

Awww hugs hun you must be rather peeved off to say the least..... it's horrible to see our kids learning from there own mistakes but you shouldn't have had to put up with her verbal and almost physical abuse..... I'm glad the other mum stepped in i really am.

I think this is how i would proberally react too hun, it's a hard to know what to do and where to draw the line.... Good luck with sticking to your guns.... hope your dh supports you though this tough time.

x

Posted: 04 February 2008 at 5:08pm | IP Logged

Hubs is wonderful. He isn't her Dad but has been in her life since she was 7 so he feels like her Dad.

He has said that if I want her to stay or go he will support me no matter what.

This has been a long time coming and to be really honest, I'm kind of relieved in a way that she is gone as the atmosphere in the house in un-bearable at times with her huffs and violence. I want a happy life and I don't want the wee ones growing up seeing her attacking me.

Hopefully she will be able to find a way of getting some money and somewhere to stay cos I really mean it when I say I don't want her living here anymore. God, I sound like a right bad mum, but I'm at the end of my tether now.

Posted: 04 February 2008 at 7:16pm | IP Logged

Oh dear, not nice. Your daughter seems to think that you are trying to spoil her fun, and everything you do or say she will do the opposite to spite you. My tack on this would be not kick her out, but if she wants to move out, let her. Dont argue, offer to help her pack her bags, but not in an angry way. She will soon find out for herself that life is really hard sometimes and we all have to learn from our own mistakes. If you hoof her out and say things that when you ve calmed down you might not have meant to say, it will damage your relationship even more than her attempt at slapping you today. That was a horrid place to get to and I feel sorry for you both.

I have seen my cousin acting in the same way towards her parents for a long time. They are no longer in contact with their daughter, and havent spoken for 5 years or more. My aunt bitterly regrets all of it now and misses her daughter terribly, but has no idea where she is.

I guess what I m trying to say is, no matter how much she upsets you now and in the future, you are her mum. Its a thankless task most of the time, and I pull my hair out with my dd sometimes! I can see that you want to protect her from the T@@t boyfriend, but thats hers to find out for herself.

I hope you wont hate me for voicing my opinion, and I appologise in advance if if I have spoken out of turn.

Jain xxx

Posted: 04 February 2008 at 8:41pm | IP Logged

Oh Hazy - I'm sorry things have come to this stage for you. What a difficult position you're in. You definitely are not a bad mum - there is a time when you have to put your foot down and not allow her to treat you like that, and especially not in front of the wee ones - you don't want them to grow up showing you the lack of respect that your eldest is at the moment.

She's still very young - I hope she does realise one day how much you have done for her, and that the reasons there are boundaries etc are for her own good (I know it took for me to be an adult until I saw where exactly my parents were coming from). Unfortunately, one of the hardest things we will do as parents is watch our kids making mistakes, and ultimately learning from them (hopefully).

I hope a little space will help you both. Am thinking about you.

xxx

Posted: 04 February 2008 at 9:14pm | IP Logged

Hazy firstly you are not a bad mum, at all! You have done so much for her, and bent over backwards to support her. I am so sorry it has come to this.

I'm not going to offer advice as I have no idea what I would do but just wanted to remind you what you already know - we are all here for you Hazy!

Hugs xxx

Posted: 05 February 2008 at 3:13pm | IP Logged

Thanks so much for being here for me, xxx.

Jain, I'm not annoyed with you hun, honest. Bex has been a lil brat since she turned 12, but has become worse and worse over the years. She even got a formal caution for assaulting me to my injury.

When it comes down to it, I have 2 wee kids to think of as well as Andy and we have all had enough. The wee ones have even been at the point of not going anywhere near her as they have seen what she is like.

It is terribly sad that it has come down to this but I have to think long term and maybe she does need to strike out on her for a while so she can see how much she is missing out on. Even if she does want to come home, she has lost the right to her own room as it is totally trashed. The door is literally hanging off it's hinges so will need to be replaced when we can. She can kip on the sofa if she does come back and pay her own way in the house as she will be frogmarched to the job centre.

All this depends on her actually re-appearing.