Parenting Forums

Posted: 28 April 2006 at 10:12am | IP Logged

I'm really sorry, you all must be beginning to wonder why on earth I had kids as I can't cope at all.

She was grounded as of Wednesday, came back after school Wednesday but stopped out late last night. Andy decided to speak to her as I was v angry. She flounced off in a huff then this morning asked if she was still going to Inverness on Monday to get new clothes. I said I'm sorry but no, you broke the rules and that's that.

Now she has said that she isn't coming back after school and she hates my guts and wishes I were dead and can I send her to live with her Auntie, my sis, back in the Borders. Honestly right now I really would as she is tearing me apart and hurting me.

Tired telling her that she is hurting me with what she says but she says she couldn't care less about how I feel.

This morning she was shouting and banging doors which was terrifying Adam so I asked her to please stop as she was frightening him and he was called a lil ba****d and Sophie is a spoilt b***h.

I really don't know how much more of this I can take.

Posted: 28 April 2006 at 10:19am | IP Logged

Aww hazy im sorry i hav no advise, just hugs for u

Ur doing a great job with all ur kids so dont ever feel like ur not. I find it hard enough coping with ryan himself whereas uv got 3 los at completely different stages so its not surprising u feel like u cant cope at times. Im sure Bex doesnt mean anything she says, i think most teenagers go thru this phase. I just hope it passes soon for the sake of ur sanity

Posted: 28 April 2006 at 11:01am | IP Logged

aww hun, i do really feel for you, but sorry i cant give any advise as mines only just turned one,

stick to your rules though, and she maynot like them but she will have to get used to them, hope things get better for you soon (((hugs))

jue xx

Posted: 28 April 2006 at 11:07am | IP Logged

I'm sorry things arent improving yet hun. Well done for sticking to your guns about the shopping though - she needs to know her bad behaviour is punished.

Maybe arrange another shopping trip in a few weeks so she has something to work towards. Tell her she has to behave leading up til then or it will be canceled again. She is obviously disapointed about missing the last one so maybe she'll try harder.

I'm sure none of us were wasy to live with in our teens. You'll get there hun. ((HUGS))

Posted: 28 April 2006 at 12:22pm | IP Logged

Hazy I am so sorry you are having to go through all this

I know it can't be easy for you but please don't ever think you are a bad mum - you aren't!

I am sure most of us on here can relate to being a stroppy teenage girl at some point in our lives - but you are doing great hun and I know it may seem like you aren't getting anywhere with her but just keep doing what you are doing, making sure she knows the rules and that you wont stand for any nonsense.

Have you ever tried writing down you feelings in a letter to her - things get said in the heat of the moment when arguing so maybe if you wrote it all down and left it in her room she could read it in her own time

Even though she says she doesn't care how you feel - she does and I am sure deep down she is hurting too.  I know if I ever said anything spiteful to my mum when I was younger I feel horrendously guilty after it.

Keep strong hun and you will get through it

Remember we are all here for you and feel free to rant at any time!!

Sending you hugs hun xxxxxxxxxx

Posted: 20 May 2006 at 2:30pm | IP Logged

she sounds very insecure to me. her behaviour is attention seeking-maybe she feels 'pushed out' now that you have two much younger children.  i'm not saying you're a bad mum because you're not at all. just by coming on here to seek advice shows how much you love her and want to heal the rift, but i'm trying to see it from her view as well.  teens are funny and unpredictable creatures, i know i was.  all those bloomin hormones-arghhh!!

likewise, you are right in setting rules and adhering to them-don't give in to her.   when she's settled down and learned to respect you and the family alot more why not spend some proper girly time together? as for her visiting her aunt why not suggest that if she cools off and helps out alot more with her siblings she could maybe spend a weekend there.

hth.  zo xxx

Posted: 20 May 2006 at 3:25pm | IP Logged

I don't know what to suggest  just want to send my love!  I was one of those teens, but my mom and I are so close now!  Keep your rules in place, and give her the punishment as you go along, because when she gets older she will thank you for it!  It just doesn't seem like it at the moment I know, and I'm not sure how my mom handled me and my sis when we were like that and there was only 15 months between us! 

Your doing well, keep up the good work.. It's always hard but at the end of the day all you can do is love her and hope she finds her way!