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susanhollister
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Joined: 09 August 2006

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Posted: 10 August 2006 at 9:36am \| IP Logged

Over a cup of coffee, my beloved mom started discussing about effective parenting. She said that in order for a child to become a responsible, obedient, and disciplined adult, it may be necessary to not spare him with the rod. As for me, I don't want to do that to my Christian. I believe that kids nowadays can become more open to discussion. They can easily absorb your point, if you can just keep the communication lines open. To stress my point, I've even talked to my mom the pointers I got from my readings. But then, it also occured to me the question: Is there really a need to change parenting strategies?

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amypiper
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Posted: 10 August 2006 at 10:43am \| IP Logged

It depends though as everyone is different really. I can be very strict and bythebook on some things and other things Im really soft and let him get away with murder LOL.

mum2joshua
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Posted: 10 August 2006 at 10:56am \| IP Logged

This is a hard one to answer, because it really does depend if your parenting stragies are working and effective to both you and child. It is illegal here to hit a child and leaving a mark, not sure about the laws in the states though, but I dont think smacking and screaming at any child whatever age is the answer. I agree with you that talking and keeping communication lines open is a key part of effective parenting. I am assuming from the nature of your post that you have a problematic teenager on your hands. Have you tried withdrawing privlages such as pocket money or nights out? These can be re-instated on a temporary basis for positive behaviour but soon removed again if necessary. He will soon see that he prefers the nice things and accept he has to be more better behaved.

Lynie
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Posted: 10 August 2006 at 11:34am \| IP Logged

I don't agree with hitting. It's nothing to do with my religious point of
view, it's a human rights issue for me.

But I do have the rule that if I say no I mean no. There's no changing
my mind- and I know better because I'm the adult. That sets clear
parameters. Caring and loving children is knowing that rules and
structure are important. Negotiating with a child is only beneficial if you
realise that they are still immature and unable to see things in an adult
way. I feel it's my job to develop my children to make informed
choices and have an understanding of others points of views.

kimjess
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Posted: 10 August 2006 at 11:35am \| IP Logged

For me i feel Jess needs to know firm rules or should would rule the roost.she is very strong willed and determined but responds really well to strong boundaries and lots of praise, but there has to be a line that if she crosses there will be a consequence...........

I do expect jess to behave well but I also take in account she has her off days just the same I do.

The one rule i stick to is what ever boundary i set for jess i make sure it is one i can keep and am able to enforce or there is no point in making it.

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Topic: should we change parenting strategies?