by MumSam » Thu Jan 01, 1970 1:33 am
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<FONT color=#000099>Did you see the news article on the front page about Dads being worth ?480,700, I know it's fathers day on sunday hence the article but did you read how they worked out the money.</FONT></P> <UL> <LI>Chef: Manning the tongs at family BBQs and parties - ?17,370 <FONT color=#cc0000>(How many bbq's a year do you have in your house we certainly don't have enought to pay ?17,370 and the ones we do have I wouldn't pay that price for a cremated Sausage )</FONT> <LI><FONT color=#cc0000></FONT> <LI>Barman: Imitating Tom Cruise behind the bar, serving and buying drinks - ?12,480 <FONT color=#cc0000>(I don't drink!!!)</FONT> <LI> <LI>Teacher: Sharing his wisdom to help with homework and reading stories - ?33,388 (secondary schools) <FONT color=#cc0000>(we shall see in 12yrs time will let you know)</FONT> <LI><FONT color=#cc0000></FONT> <LI>Chauffeur: Patiently driving children, wife and friends to and from social events - ?16,816 <FONT color=#cc0000>(I can drive myself and I drive the kids everywhere)</FONT> <LI><FONT color=#cc0000></FONT> <LI>Bank manager: Digging deep to lend or give money to the family for days out, covering the cost of weddings, cars and general cash handouts - ?45,413 <FONT color=#cc0000>(and which planet is this reporter living on)</FONT> <LI><FONT color=#cc0000></FONT> <LI>Minder: Throwing his weight around and stepping in when things go wrong - ?18,153 <FONT color=#cc0000>(?)</FONT> <LI><FONT color=#cc0000></FONT> <LI>Mechanic: Tinkering around, helping to buy and maintain cars, bikes go-carts etc - ?20,766 <FONT color=#cc0000>(rofl at the thought of Keith mending something)</FONT> <LI><FONT color=#cc0000></FONT> <LI>Paramedic: Remaining calm and rushing kids to hospital, attending bumps, cuts and bruises - ?24,506 <FONT color=#cc0000>(I think you will find Keith throwing up in the bathroom)</FONT> <LI><FONT color=#cc0000></FONT> <LI>Counsellor: Bravely providing a shoulder to cry on when kids split from first girlfriend/boyfriend, go on first date - ?23,013 <FONT color=#cc0000>(possibly he is great for a cuddle)</FONT> <LI><FONT color=#cc0000></FONT> <LI>Personal trainer: Teaching kids to swim, play football, build sandcastles - ?15,982 <FONT color=#cc0000>(probably)</FONT> <LI><FONT color=#cc0000></FONT> <LI>Handyman: Rustling around in his toolkit to replace batteries in toys, glue broken toys together, build climbing frames and other assorted jobs around the house - ?22,140 <FONT color=#cc0000>(Bet if you asked him where the screwdriver is kept in our house he wouldn't know)</FONT> <LI><FONT color=#cc0000></FONT> <LI>IT consultant: Showing off his technical expertise to teach the family how to use the internet and play games - ?36,797 <FONT color=#cc0000>(ok he can probably be paid double for this one)</FONT> <LI><FONT color=#cc0000></FONT> <LI>PA/office manager: Organising activities for the family, taking phone messages and helping the house to running smoothly - ?30,557 (<FONT color=#cc0000>In my dreams)</FONT></LI>[/list]"